fuck up?

six

ella's pov

I've been really trying to be more positive, but i don't know how. I've talked to Taylor once more, and shes ging me great advice. And i really have been getting better, my grades are moving upwards and i've been trying to stop smoking weed. I have do have a cigarette here and then, and i only drink at parties. So i've made huge improvement i recon. But something about tonight just didn't seem right.

Taylor and dad were on a date or something and i was supposed to sleep over at Nicks but he got grounded. So here i am now, all alone in my room and a Saturday. I do have a party next weekend which i'm really excited for.

It's just after midnight and i'm on my fourth energy and second cigarette, i am still me after all. I was scrolling on tiktok when i saw some pictures of dad and Taylor tonight. I screen shotted the good ones and sent them to Taylor. She didn't like that people snapped pictures like that, but it did form some cute ones.

Scrolling trough the comments i noticed one of me. I read it slowly.

'That kid of Kelce must be getting even more spoiled. She's literally so ugly and fat, i've heard she's a junkie also.'

Sixty likes. Sixty people agreed with them. Sixty people found me fat, and ugly. They were right i am. Mom was really pretty and dad has a great body. I'm just a junkie. Tears welled up into my eyes, and i walked to my bathroom. Grabbing my blade i sat down and my back hit the bathtub. Fuck, why did i let peoples opinions effect me that much.

I'm fat, cut. I'm ugly, cut. I'm a junkie, cut. I'm stupid, selfish, not good enough. With every thought cut deeper and deeper. Tears streaming down my face, blood dripping onto the floor. After there we're six deep cuts into my wrist. I don't know why i do it, i'm not proud of it but it's one of my ways of escaping. And since i'm tryna stop smoking this is my way of coping.

I clean up and press a towel against my wrist. Still sobbing i lay back into my bed. I assumed dad and Taylor would be home in a couple of minutes so i closed my eyes for now.

Taylor's pov

This night was everything i needed. Just a night out with my boyfriend, making silly conversation and laughing our asses off. Dinner was amazing, but Travis got a little impatient if you know what i mean, so we skipped dessert. On our way back to his place i got a text from Ella.

'Oh babe look, Ella has sent me some pictures of tonight.' Travis smiled back at me, telling me to send them trough. I didn't like the fact that people were so invested in my love life, but that was a part of the job i guess.

Travis had his hand on my thigh the entire ride home. We hadn't had sex in a hot minute because Ella was home. But tonight she was sleeping over at Nick's, so we had the entire evening to ourselves.

After twenty minutes we arrived at his home, Travis obviously opened the door for me once again. We opened up the door and kicked of our shoes and jackets. Travis immediately slammed me into the nearest wall, catching my mouth. His hands on my hips my arms next to my head. His tongue dipped into my mouth, causing me to moan a little. After a little wall make out session, he lifted me up and carried me to his bedroom.

'I've never been this happy Ella is gone.' Travis chuckled at me and i smiled between kisses. He placed me onto my back, and laid on top of me. Holding himself up with one hand, whilst the other slipped to the hem of my top. I lifted my arms so he could throw it away. The more heated it got, the sloppier the kisses grew.

'Fuck i need you.' I whimpered. Travis took off his shirt and pants, as i slipped out of my skirt. Leaving us just in our underwear. He slipped his hand to my back and i arched upwards so he could snap my bra off. He kissed his way down to my breast and caught a nipple in his mouth.