fuck up?

nine

ella's pov

It's finally Christmas day. I love Christmas actually, it's so comforting and just very special to me. This was our first Christmas with Taylor, so i was a little curious. She's basically moved in, but she kept her apartment in New York for work reasons.

Today was also the day Nick was coming to dinner. We've called everyday for hours on end whilst he was on vacation. I hated not seeing him, but i was really looking forward to tonight.

It's right now 1pm and i've just woken up. Throwing on a hoodie i walked downstairs to see Taylor and dad. They were cuddling on the couch, watching some random Christmas movie.

'MERRY CHRISTMAS!!' I jumped on them and they laughed.

'I'll tell you Tay, El is like the biggest Christmas person you'll ever meet.' Dad said and i rolled my eyes.

'So, Nick is coming over at six. Mom is making dinner and dad you just have to act normal. Don't ask any weird questions, or tell any weird stories.' I told him specifically.

'Fine i'll behave.' He sighed.

'So it's dinner, then presents and we'll just play a board game or something? Nick has to be home by eleven.' I told them.

'He doesn't have any allergies right?' Taylor asked.

'No, he's fine with everything.' I smiled.

'Wanna join us?' Taylor asked and moved a little further away from dad.

'No that's okay, i'm gonna pick up your present actually.' I smiled and stood up.

'What?! You didn't have to get me anything.' Taylor implied, she was very humble but she loved getting stuff. I'd given her an old shirt i didn't wear anymore, and she wears it like every day.

'Too bad.' I stuck out my tongue and headed upstairs. Putting on some jeans and mascara, i brushed my teeth and hair. Grabbing my phone, wallet, airpods and lip products i walked downstairs again. Tucking on my shoes i left, walking over to the bus. Once i'd gotten in the bus i texted Tara a little. She was with her family so i hadn't seen her much lately and i missed her. After twenty minutes i arrived at the mall and got out. Walking over to Pandora i picked up the bracelet is pre-ordered.

Taylor is crazy rich, but this bracelet was one of a kind, well two of a kind actually. I'd gotten us matching bracelets, one gold one silver. I wore silver she wore gold, so it works out perfectly. In the little star in the middle the name 'lilly' was engraved. It was my middle name, and her favorite flower. It was just something between us that had grown.

Walking back to the bus i sat down and wrote a little in my journal. Taylor had told me she loved writing down her thoughts, so i started doing it as well. I know i still have a lot to work on, but i'm getting better. I've been clean of self harm for three weeks now. My ed hasn't gone away, but i'm starting to eat a little more. Tara thinks i eat way more than i do, so does Taylor. But i really don't see the problem actually.

Once i'd gotten home it was 3pm. I headed upstairs to wrap up the present, I called Nick in the mean time.

'I can't wait to see you again.' I smiled.

'You have no idea how much i've missed you. By the way, i've gotten Taylor and your dad a present. I hope that's not like weird?' He asked a little nervous. The fact that he did that meant so much to me.

'That's so sweet, i'm sure they'll love it.' I implied.

We called a little before he had to leave, he still had to go on a train for three hours. I finished up packing the present and placed it underneath the tree. Walking over to the couch i sat down and scrolled a little on my phone. A little while later dad and mom got home.