Chapter 15

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It's been 2 months, 5 days, 64 minutes and 3 seconds since the love of my life called it quits.

2 months, 5 days, 64 minutes and 3 seconds since the love of my life shattered my heart into a thousand pieces.

2 months, 5 days, 64 minutes and 3 seconds since he made me cry so badly the only thing i could do to cope was pray, and read, and watch Gilmore girls.

For the 100th time.

And there's about 5 seconds left before i smash my head into a wall.

I stared my ring finger, the tan line still present from my promise ring.

Whats the point of a promise if you're just going to break it.

Just like my heart.

It's strange how the world keeps spinning, even when yours feels like it's come to a screeching halt. I used to wake up excited to see his name light up my phone, to hear his laugh that made everything else fade away. Now, my mornings start with a hollow ache, the silence in my room echoing louder than any alarm.

I used to plan my weekends around him. Now, my calendar's empty, like the space he left in my heart. I even stopped going to our favorite coffee shop—couldn't stand the thought of running into him or worse, sitting there alone.

The promise ring was supposed to mean forever. But forever feels like a lie now, and the tan line is just a cruel reminder of what's gone. I want to hate him, to erase every memory, but the truth is, I miss him so much it hurts. Every hour, every minute, every second.

-

School used to be my escape—a place where I could forget about everything else for a while. But now, even the hallways seem to mock me. Today, it was during lunch. I was just sitting there with Sage, picking at my food, when I heard that laugh. His laugh. The one that used to make my heart race. I looked up, and there he was, sitting with his friends, his face so familiar it hurt. For a split second, our eyes almost met, and my breath caught in my throat.

Everything around me blurred, the sounds of the cafeteria fading as my chest tightened. My heart pounded in my ears, and it felt like the walls were closing in. I was spiraling, falling into a panic I couldn't control, the room spinning around me.

Just as I thought I'd drown in it, Sage's voice cut through the fog, sharp and clear. "Hey, you okay? You're looking a little pale," she said, her concern pulling me back to reality.

I blinked, forcing myself to breathe, to focus on her instead of the chaos inside my head. I managed a shaky smile, nodding, though the lie felt heavy on my tongue. "Yeah, just... lost in thought," I mumbled, pushing the food around on my tray as if that could somehow ground me.

Sage didn't push. She never did. Instead, she started talking about something ridiculous that happened in her last class, her voice steady, normal, like nothing was wrong. Like I wasn't seconds away from falling apart. And maybe that was what I needed—to pretend everything was fine, just for a little while.

I forced myself to laugh at Sage's story, even though I barely heard a word of it. My mind kept drifting back to Cody, to the way he didn't even flinch when we almost made eye contact. It was like he didn't care—like I didn't exist.

As the day dragged on, I did everything I could to push it down, to keep that panic from resurfacing. I threw myself into my work, scribbling notes and nodding along with the teacher's lecture, but nothing stuck. My thoughts kept slipping back to that moment in the cafeteria, and every time they did, my stomach twisted.

By the time the final bell rang, I was exhausted—not just physically, but emotionally. I could feel the weight of it pressing down on me, making it hard to breathe. All I wanted was to go home, crawl into bed, and shut out the world.

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