Shadows of You | Englot (GirlxGirl)

21. Make It Easy

POV ENGFA

"P'Fa, are you two... back together?" Pichy looked at me with a face I couldn't quite read-was she sad, worried, or maybe both?

"Not yet. Why do you ask?" I replied.

She shook her head and smiled. "Oh, nothing."

This afternoon, I invited her to P'Faye's place for a small birthday party for Yoko. Pichy has to head back to Cambodia tomorrow morning, and this was the only time we had. So, I figured, why not celebrate Yoko's birthday, even if it was yesterday? We couldn't do it then because Yoko was out of town for an event.

So here we are, sitting on the couch while P'Faye and Yoko are in the kitchen, getting everything ready, waiting for the rest of the guests to arrive.

Suddenly, Pichy got up and walked towards the backyard. P'Faye caught my eye and motioned for me to follow her. I nodded and went after Pichy.

"Hey, Pich? What's up?" I gently touched her shoulder, and she stopped walking. When she turned around, I saw her eyes were watery like she was holding back tears.

She forced a smile and shook her head. "P'Fa... I'm fine. I just needed some fresh air."

I looked at her intently, then took her hand and pulled her into a hug. "What's wrong?"

She couldn't hold it in anymore and started crying, her sobs muffled against my shoulder. I rubbed her back, trying to comfort her.

Still hugging me, she whispered, "Last night, I realized something."

I pulled back slightly, still holding her hands. "What is it?"

She looked up at the sky and closed her eyes. My heart ached seeing her like this, so I wiped away a tear that escaped down her cheek.

"I realized... I really love you."

I nodded and hugged her tightly as she broke down, holding me like she didn't want to let go. "And I know you don't love me."

I tried to pull away, but she held me even tighter. "Don't," she paused. "I just needed to say it, and please... don't let go."

I hugged her back just as tightly. She continued, "I know I said I'd wait for you, even if it took five years. But P'Fa, I think I was being cruel to you and to myself. I'm torturing myself because of it. Last night, I realized you and P'Char are meant to be. She gave up a big role just to protect your heart. That's love. And I love you too, but I don't want to be in the middle of it. I know she doesn't either. And clearly, you don't want to choose between us."

She loosened her grip and stepped back. "You've been honest with P'Char, haven't you?"

I nodded, tears welling up in my own eyes. "She knows I like you."

Pichy nodded and smiled sadly. "And she wants you to choose, right?"

I nodded again, "I... I can't choose, Pich."

She smiled wider and wiped the tears from my cheeks. "I know, P'Fa. I know. I thought giving you space and time would help you decide and be happy with P'Char."

I shook my head. She can't control how I feel about her either. "I've told you before, I like you, and it's not a lie. But I also can't lie to you-I still love Charlotte." She closed her eyes, tears streaming down again. "I'm the one who shouldn't be hurting you both. But instead, I've made you feel like you're just an option when you're both incredible people. Neither of you should have to compete with anyone."

Now I'm the one crying in front of her, tears falling freely. My heart feels like it's breaking.

"P'Fa..." she whispered.