ARE WE STILL FRIENDS? | TAA & ALEJANDRO BALDE

PILLOWTALK

I ANGRILY STOMPED ONTO TRENTS FRONT PORCH.

the amount of anger that was bottled up inside of me right now was unimaginable, I never thought I'd ever be this angry at him but here I was.

I loudly banged on his door as I waited for him to open it, which took way too long for my liking.

I expected him to put in at least some effort to try and make things right, like he'd at least try and be at the door quickly but I guess he really doesn't care.

"calm down, there's people sleeping" he finally opens the door, him telling me to calm down right now is making my blood boil. He's the one that should calm down with dating girls.

"I can not believe you! how could anyone ever go on a 'date' with someone and be spotted with someone else the next day!" I  angrily ask him.

"listen, it was just one hang out with her. I don't like her like I like you" he explains, I just scoff at his answer. It was the worst answer I'd ever heard.

"how can you say you really like me and say you'll try to be in a relationship for me but then date another girl anyway?" I yell so loud I'm scared his neighbours can hear me.

"I said I'd try, not that It'd actually work out" he defends himself but really only makes it worse "that's the thing, you didn't even try! you gave it a day and gave up, do you know how that makes me feel?" I can feel my eyes swelling up.

"I'm sorry madi! I didn't want to hurt you!" Trent now starts yelling as well "you make me feel like shit, like I don't mean anything to you Trent" tears now roll down my face

"you mean everything to me madi! I promise, I love you so much!" he assures me, but there was nothing assuring about it "I feel like you just use me to hook up, so just tell me: am I just a hook up to you?" I question.

I was genuinely curious and eager to know, I needed to know. I simply couldn't live the way I had been these past few weeks, living in a pool of my own thoughts.

"no! You're so much more than that! you're more than a hook up, you're my best friend, the girl that I love, the girl I like!" he steps closer to me.

"and I get all these comments, all the time, telling me I should run. and they were right, I should've left but I didn't, I can't leave you" I start sobbing, i hated crying in front of people, or just crying in general.

I hated how your nose got runny after you cried or how your whole face was watery because of the tears, how sometimes you had to squeeze a tear out because it was just stuck in your eye.

"I feel like shit, like I'm nothing." I could feel my knees weaken with every second I stood up, I hadn't slept for two nights now. I had just been thinking about everything.

This would soon become the third night without sleep. and I was dreading it.

"calm down, lets sit down yeah?" Trent takes me under my arms and walks me over to his couch, placing me down on it and sitting next to me quickly after.

"when was the last time you slept?" he questions, sounding genuinely concerned, which I hated. "two days ago, but that isn't important right now" I can feel warm tears stream down my face.

"madi, you know you're not nothing. You're amazing and beautiful and funny and I love you, it was a mistake to go out with that girl, I'll admit that. I regret it, but I can't change something that already happened" he rubs over my arm as he pulls me into a tight side hug.

"I just feel so shit with all these people telling me it's because you don't want me and stuff" I blink to let the tears fall down my face, most of them landing on Trent's shirt which I was now leaning against.