Unfading Scars #1 ; River & Bill

Chapter XII : Day 1 .

Bill & River .

       " It's of usual occurrence that most of women tend to drift apart after the loss of their beloved especially their own children . They tend to feel as it's their fault ,that she could have been more responsible in ensuring that the baby is safe and so on and that's why in times like that a man has to be strong and understanding because it's way tougher to a woman than all , which I can say you failed to be Mr. Norman and I don't blame you because most of men tend to not realize what to do with their women at that point and they only see the after life from the loss and they expect that having another sooner is the best way to forget that loss but in real sense it's not healthy in both mind and the body especially of a woman "

I nod at that .

" And women are emotional ,in the drifting period they see that punishing themselves is a solution but all they need is comfort and love they just don't name that emotion the same again , they expect you to grieve as they do but she needs to be shown that it wasn't her fault , it might have been a bad luck and that she can have another child and she's to be loved the same ....and that has to be done for sometime Mr. Norman "  Mark adds to that and I pointed another mistake I have made .

I gave up on her ,seeing that she gets no better even after some comforting words and when she pushed me away ,I was supposed to hold onto her but I left .

" Mr. Norman " Mark called

" Yes "

" How did you feel when Bella comforted you that night ? "

" I'd felt good ,happy and relieved because I think I needed to hear that "

" What if that came from your wife at that time " my inside cringed at that .

" She wouldn't because she was deep in grief ,she couldn't even know what she was doing "

" So you didn't trust her to comfort you "

" She was a miserable Mark " I closed my eyes at that .

" Well that gets to point something else then , trust . You didn't trust your wife enough to believe that she can be strong and maybe comfort you and you closed yourself behind the doors of business and both of you never got a chance to see what the other can do in such a situation instead you welcomed another woman into your life while she embraced her grief tighter "

I didn't trust her .... Another mistake

" And that's the justification of her being suddenly strong enough to move on with her regular activities after she knew that you cheated on her "

Sure she's a strong woman but that's just to avoid the pain .

" That makes me doubt that she was over her grief and waits for you so you two could move on together but too bad you already did , because if she wasn't then she'd just swallow herself deeper to the sorrows and grief of feeling unwanted because she's lost the child but no she stood strong , that means she's been at that for a while now "

" I didn't see that Mark"

" Because you were long gone "

And I gulped on that , I really was gone already

.......................

" I felt that it was my fault , that I am responsible , that I should have been careful because I feel it's because of my laziness or so " tears welled up in my eyes as I spoke to Melody , my therapist that Faith had connected me to .

" Well am sorry but it wasn't your fault ,luck happens and sometimes may be a bad one but you're not at fault and don't blame yourself , you're strong and she wouldn't want you unhappy either "

I smile nodded at that .

" You've told me of the cheating from your husband , why do you think he did it "

" I don't know . He just excused himself with me pushing him away ,close myself behind the doors grieving and so I had left and forgot to be a wife to him and when Bella came to him he embraced that feeling in a name of comfort until it grew into something else "

" And do you think ,you've pushed him away "

" I don't know either , after the loss of our child both of us went in grieving but I can say in a different way , I stayed in the door and cried my soul out while he'd bury himself in work and business until I came to know that it wasn't just business , he'd moved on already and played a husband to someone else ,gave her my rights and he was happy until she asked him for a divorce ,and that's all how he came to his senses but it was too late because the night he walked in ,I had the pictures of their affairs , I knew then "

" Am so sorry about that ....but can I say that you got your way out of the grief before "

" Maybe I did or not but I came to acceptance that it happened and there was nothing I could do ,so I embraced it and decided to give myself some more time before I move to my regulars "

" That's good but you should have told or shown him "

" He was long gone Dr. Melody  , and I believed he was still grieving because his business name popped more in excuses  and I thought he was using that to escape grief but he already did "

" That's understandable " she sighed then smiled .

" Let's now talk about Bella "

And my smile flattened .

" It may be an unexpected topic but you need to move past her too in your mind and not just bury the memory "

I nodded with a tug in my heart .

" So tell me how you know Bella "

And I told her from where I met her , how I saw her as an innocent woman captured in the middle of the adultery of her parents leading to the loss of family peace and land in economic crisis and me being kindhearted , I helped her , brought her close to me , to my organization as I always do , gave her a place in my company as I took time to build hers , and then I introduced her to my husband , and that was it .

Friendship got stained by betrayal .