Unfading Scars #1 ; River & Bill

Chapter II : Behind my back

River

    Soaking myself in the cold water slowly thinking that maybe it would snap my mind from the reality I've seen today but that's not the case , I felt numb as my mind ran across the different scenes I've encountered but was so foolish to see the red flags airing the wind .

My husband has been going behind my back just like the tales of men I've heard cheating in marriage while I thought mine wouldn't . Too stupid or rather naive to think this would be so different from others only to be proven right .

My mind raked through the pictures I've seen after a delivery man dropped me an envelope only to see my world crumbling down to my feet . Is this why she's always there with him ,throwing different excuses and playing a good friend from heart only to stab mine with betrayal  .

Now I could filter it all , the smirks he'd throw her and the sly smile she would to him whenever we'd talk about some intimacy jokes , I thought it was between me and him but no , it was between them .

For a while I thought familiarity hit their zone when she'd place her slender hands on his biceps just as a slight brush with tapping but that was getting cozy and I was a fool to think otherwise .

And right now I don't know how much is behind my back because the naked pictures of my husband's and my friend Bella , spoke so many secrets and I don't know what awaits me .

But as for now my insecurities have been shouting at my face , especially that one incident I've been trying to move on from .

The loss of my pregnancy , my unborn child .

" River " a manly voice I would recognize even in my deep slumber resonated across the hall and I wondered what he was doing here , forgetting that it's his house .

My anger bubbled but I'd learned to control so much emotions on the process of my grief so I waited for him to find me .

I heard the door clicks open and the lights goes on just as his steps that halted somewhere I believe ,and I might know why ,because I've left the scattered pictures of their blooming love on the table .

I stepped from the waters ,pulled my robe wrapping it around before opening the door to find my husband ,a man I've known to love my whole life , Bill Norman ,standing with a shocked face as he eyed the pictures on the table .

On the closing sound of the bathroom door his eyes raked into mine and the most I could see in his eyes is guilt ,fear and shame .

You don't deserve to feel scared , you've just shown me how am supposed to be when it comes to you : Feared .

" River ...

" I suggest we talk about this some other day , am feeling so sick right now Mr. Norman " ,I could see how he gulps but definitely not taking my suggestion either .

" I can explain myself ...

" Save that for that day Mr. Norman but I would like to know one thing about this before I rest my head " I grapped a towel and ruffle my hairs drying them slowly before gazing at his shamed eyes as he clenchs his jaws and fist his palms aside his hands .

He doesn't want to tell me ,or doesn't want me to know .

" How long ? " I asked again and his eyes closed as he breathed slowly .

" A year and half  "

" Have a good night ,Mr. Norman " ,with that I climbed to the bed and pulled my duvet as he watched me ignore him for the first time .

Early in the morning ,I woke up to find a smiling man just beside my bed ,the man I've thought he loved me until yesterday when he surely showed it all .

A year and half ,he's been cheating on me .

Looking beside the table I saw the tray of breakfast I surely know he made as he tried to force that normal smile but it got no where near my feelings right now .

" What are you doing here ? " I asked him leaning my body on the bed board , wanting to know what is his business when he hasn't been sleeping home for a year now .

I admit to be foolish into thinking that just as I endulged myself in sorrows and grief at home ,he threw his in business ,so enough to make him unavailable .

" Good morning " he spoke with that smile again .

" Am I to be thankful to hear that from you after a year and so "  he was disgusting me like he hasn't already .

" River ...am sorry "

" That doesn't bring back anything does it " I licked my lips slowly . " Sorry ain't a marker pen to conceal the mistakes of a writing ,Mr. Norman and am in no mood for that talk yet ,so you can go back to your wife "

" Your my wife .....

" And when was the last time you've slept home ...with me " I moved the duvet after his lack of some sensible answer and walked to the bathroom .

After a shower ,I still found him by bed this time faced my direction and I scoffed in anger .

" You seriously need to go ,Mr. Norman "

And a call tipped that ,he held his phone only to grit his teeth and silent it .

" She's calling isn't she ? I guess someone is not used in sleeping all alone " I moved to my closet and picked up a white suit for myself .

Since I've been so stupid in my sorrows to let go of my business at bay , I will now go back after the consequences of my lost focus .

" River , I can explain everything ...

" Well then that interests me in another thing for today Mr. Norman . Have you ever fucked her in this house ? " , I'd cut him everytime he wanted to speak something because his actions have already spoke volumes for me , I don't think I can handle some more words right now .

He grits his teeth ,as he raked my eyes for some mercy and there I got my answer .

He fucked her in our marital house .

" I've been living in some trenches ,I can't believe it !"

I grabbed my suit and walked out ,slamming the door at him .