✔️ shadows of desire | downton abbey

chapter 20

As the warm glow of the evening sun bathed the room, I stood before Mrs. Crawley, my heart fluttering with anticipation and joy. I hadn't given Matthew my answer yet. Before I could say yes, there was something I needed to do.

"I want to be a lady, a wife that Matthew deserves and I know I can be," I said to Mrs. Crawley, my voice filled with determination.

She nodded, her kind eyes twinkling. "I see. I know people who can help you with just that," she smiled warmly. "You know, I never thought I would get to have a daughter-in-law."

"That would be fantastic," I replied, my excitement bubbling over. "I never thought he would ever ask me to marry him. In fact, I never thought someone would ever marry me."

Mrs. Crawley stood up from her seat, her smile widening. "You possess something special, Eden. Something that nobody else possesses. Now, go home and tell your brother about the happy news."

I nodded, feeling a rush of gratitude. "You're right. Thank you," I whispered before leaving her house and running back to Downton Abbey. The scent of blooming roses filled the air as I dashed through the gardens, my heart soaring with blissful anticipation.

As I arrived at Downton, the gravel crunching under my hurried footsteps, I spotted Thomas standing before me with a somber expression. My face fell at the sight of his grave demeanor. "Thomas, what's the matter?" I asked, my voice tinged with concern.

Thomas avoided my gaze, his silence heavy. He did something. "Thomas Barrow, you tell me what you've done this instant," I shouted, my anxiety rising.

"His Lordship is waiting for you in the library," Thomas finally said, his tone flat.

I sighed, a sense of foreboding settling in my chest. I walked to the library, each step echoing in the quiet corridor. As I slowly opened the door, the scent of polished wood and old books greeted me. Mrs. Hughes was already there, her expression unreadable.

"Oh, Miss Barrow, perfect timing," she said, her voice steady.

"Your Lordship, Thomas told me you wanted to see me," I said, trying to keep my voice calm.

Lord Grantham nodded and handed me a letter. As I opened and began to read it, he spoke, his tone regretful, "I am sorry it had to come to this. However, I believe it to be the right choice. When the war is over, we will take you back in."

Tears welled in my eyes as I scanned the letter. "Weren't my services satisfactory?" I asked, my voice trembling.

Lord Grantham shook his head. "In fact, your services have been more than satisfactory. As you can read in your letter, I have arranged for you to serve the Levinsons in America."

"America?" I gasped, the word feeling foreign and distant. "With all due respect, your Lordship, I will not do so. I'm sorry, but I can't."

"This is unfortunate but your decision," he said, his expression softening. "Thank you for your service, Miss Barrow, and we would like to welcome you back once Downton is safer for you to return."

I clutched the letter to my chest, my mind racing. The world outside was falling apart, but in this moment, my thoughts were consumed by Matthew, by the promise of a future I had yet to embrace. As I left the library, the reality of the situation began to sink in, and I knew I had to find a way to navigate this new path, for both of us.

I nodded, "Thank you, your Lordship. For the opportunity to grow and learn," I said, my voice trembling as I fled the library. My vision blurred with tears, I ran past Thomas, unable to hold back my sobs. The realization that I now had to pack and leave the only place I had known for three years was crushing. So many memories...