The Feeling Asks Why?

"But We've only just Met." - Ben

     Standing there I think about the morning before when my father had yelled at me again for finally moving out, I had to move into a camper cause it was all I could afford at the time but now I'm about out of money now and I can't find any jobs and all I've been doing all day is doing interviews. "This fucking sucks."

     As I'm walking I see this colorful looking diner on the corner of the street I'd been walking down. "Ugh I wish they were hiring I could have gotten a job there. Whatever I'll go check out the place anyways maybe they'll be hiring soon."

I start to walk across the street to get over to the other side of the road the diner is on, as I'm walking suddenly I hear tires flying across the street and before I can even turn my head a car comes flying right past in front of me as if by some miracle it barely missed me. "This must be fate."

As I continued to walk I thought about how maybe it was a sign that I was meant to be here at this exact moment, I reach the diner and I notice the shining open sign hanging from the door. "I've always liked the look of neon signs."
I push the door open and listen to the cute jingle that the bell plays above me.

Instinctively my eyes drift towards the ground, I've never been the type to like being around people anyways. I notice how no one is really in the diner other than the man working the counter.

"Welcome!"

The man at the counter says joyfully to me.

"Hi."

I really don't feel like talking so I just go sit down in the corner at a table with red seats and a nice clean shaven wood table, it reminds me of the counters in my camper. I take my journal out of my hands and set it on the table to write in. I get my pen out and start to write about everything that's happened today, "I almost got hit by a car, I still haven't found a job to apply for, and I'm now sitting in a diner with literally one person here. This sucks, well today sucks. I just really hope I don't run out of money I'm not even 18 yet..."

I continue to write for some time and eventually I look up to meet the man's gaze, I have never felt this way before. "I want to stay in this moment forever." In those few moments we stared at each other it felt like we'd been together forever. "Am I in love? What is this feeling? No one has ever made me feel this way before. Do I know him?" Thoughts flood my brain as I wrap my head around what I was feeling.

I feel completely at ease, he took all of my worries away in a moment. From that once second of eye contact all of my thoughts all the things I was hanging onto just disappeared as if they were never there. I watch as the man quickly goes back to wiping the counters down, I smell this nice calming scent of lavender fill the air of the diner. It's relaxing but not like what had just happened, it was different.

I continue writing in my journal, this time I write about what has just happened. "I looked this man in the eye and I think I felt true love for the first time, I have never felt this way ever. Not even when I'd been with other people. My day doesn't seem as bad now maybe it really was a sign that I was meant to be here..." For a moment I sit there and my mind is calmed from the hurricane that normally runs through and wrecks my head all the time.

"Hey I'm closing the diner now, you can't stay here."

I watch for a moment as he walks out from behind the counter and takes his apron off. He looks beautiful, I've never seen anyone like it. He has amazing hazel hair and these wonderful green eyes that light up his face like a firework at night.

"Oh ok thanks for telling me."

I quickly grab my things and tie the strap on my journal back on while latching the side of my pen to it also. I look out the window for a moment as I'm enjoying the silence I feel in my mind. "It's so calming..." As I'm staring I forget I'm supposed to be leaving and I snap back to reality.

"What's your name?"

The man asks me and I pause for a moment slightly out of surprise. "Is he really interested in me? We barely even talked."

"Oh, I'm Ben, what's yours?"

There's this feeling of bliss as I hear his voice that lingers and stays for moments after. "I really want to be his friend, maybe I could ask for his number." This time I make sure to look straight at him.

"Sorry zoned out a bit there, I'm Anton! It's nice to meet you Ben."

     I watch for a moment as he stares at my face, it feels weird but also feels good for some reason. "I like this. I want to be here forever."

     I watch as he reaches his hand out and I shake it, his hands feel warm and homey like something I'd come back to after work.

"What do you do for work?"

     All my memories of today flow back into my mind. "Oh yeah I forgot I was looking for a job. Haha I'll have to ask another time." I ponder for a moment then speak.

"Oh I'm unemployed at the moment haha."

     I awkwardly say as I hope we could get off that subject. "I don't want to even think or talk about it anymore. I'm exhausted from everything I did today."

"Ah alright well let's get out of here now before someone sees us in here after hours."

     I assume he doesn't want to get fired for something so stupid. "Maybe his boss is strict or something. Eh whatever it doesn't matter all too much." As I'm thinking to myself he starts towards the door and I follow suit making sure to stay as close as I can without him getting uncomfortable. "I'm so glad I met Anton."

     As we reach the door he opens it and I walk out ahead of him. I watch him as he closes up the diner and locks the door. "I should say something before I lose the chance."

"Can I get your number?"

     I watch as he turns around to me with a slightly surprised look on his face. "Oh no maybe it's too soon. Did I mess up?"

"Yeah of course! Here do you have a piece of paper I can use?"

As soon as he says that all of those thoughts disappear and I'm suddenly back in the moment, with him, Anton. The man who stunned me the moment we looked at each other before even saying more than hi to each other. I pull out my journal and unbutton the strap connecting the front and back, I open it up and rip a page out and hand it to Anton.

     I watch as he pulls a pencil out of his pocket and starts to write his number. "Am I doing it right? I hope so because I may have just found the love of my life today." He hands the piece of paper back and I read it to myself then walk away without saying a word. As we walk our separate ways I glance back at him but I decide to just face forwards. "I'd like to be with him always but I know I always do this when I meet someone I like. I can't keep doing this. I think he's my soulmate, but we've only just met."