The Feeling Asks Why?

"This has been the Worst Day Ever." - Lillith

The sky opens up to this bright beaming light shining upon my face making my skin glow with this shiny yellow tint, it feels so warm as if the sun was hugging my face and I was its child. "This is going to be a good day." I look around for a moment, cars pass me by and people walk along the sidewalks. For a moment it feels so peaceful as I watch the world move around me and I embrace the sights just like the sun has embraced my skin, wrapping its loving arms around me and gently kissing me with its light.

I turn to my left because I've finally decided to go to work, the way to work is a little confusing but after going for a few months you get the hang of it. I've always felt very comfy with how my life turned out but I can't help but feel like something's missing, maybe it's love, maybe it's happiness, or maybe I'm just off my medication. Either way I'm feeling empty, I need something or someone to fill this hole inside me.

The sidewalk stretched for what feels like forever, eventually I walk to a crosswalk and watch as a man crosses the road, he has almost pitch black hair and beautiful light brown eyes that almost seem to glitter when the sun hits them. "I've never liked men but he is gorgeous." Suddenly as he's walking I watch a car fly right in front of him almost hitting him, my heart skips a beat and fear hits me like a truck would crash into a store, but I watch and the man is ok. "What a lucky guy."

The man walks into a diner acting as if nothing had happen which confuses me a bit because personally I would have needed a moment to recover from that. "Well I better be on my way, I need to get to work on time." I turn and walk to my right across the four lane while hoping to god I don't get hit by a car, fear tickles my neck like the boogeyman teasing me at night in my bed.

Walking down the sidewalk I end up reaching the fountain in the center of the town and stop for a moment to watch. "It's so beautiful." A sense of calm and ease washes over me and colors flow into my eyes like lights in the night, I continue onwards down the road continuing to look around and notice the sights within the small homey town I live in.

Eventually I reach my workplace, which is a grocery store. It's one of the biggest places here which says a lot for how small this town is, as I walk through the front entrance of the grocery store the sounds of beeping fill my ears and the smell of cold air flows into my nose. "This place has always had a weird feeling to it." The feeling of the grocery store floated onto me and rested itself upon my shoulders as I settled into the environment once again as I'd done so many times before.

I walk to the back rooms where the vests are and the vibe is completely different in there, it's all concrete and smells a bit weird, probably because we store old foods back there for throwing out after they've expired. It smells musty with a hint of that signature cold air that follows you everywhere you go in this place. "It is so cold in here jeez." My body shivers as a piercing chill runs down my back, I grab my vest and pop the buttons onto myself, the vest is navy blue but it looks cute on me. After putting my vest on I walk out then tie my shiny long black hair up into a bun with the hair tie that had been squeezing my wrist since the time I'd walked out the door with it, a noticeable mark left on my wrist as a result. I rub my wrist to soothe it from the uncomfortable feeling left lingering behind from the hair tie.

I step out and immediately to my left a cart rams into me as this kid is sliding across the shiny white granite floor on the handle bar.

"OW!"

I yell out in pain as the kid had hit my hip bone while going full speed on the cart. In the instant I was hit I kneel down and rest a hand on my hip as my face winces in pain. I feel so pissed off but I hold it together as to not scream at the young boy who'd hit me.

"Are you ok miss?"

The young boy lets go of the cart and walks over to me with a worried look on his face. I shut my eyes for a moment and get up without saying a word to him. "If I speak to him I'm going to yell I swear to fuck. I hate children." I don't speak for a moment as the pain subsides and I calm down a bit.

"Yes of course! Now make sure to bring your cart back to mommy!"

I look down at the boy and kneel a bit so I'm more at his height, I then gesture for him to shoo away like an annoying fly that won't leave me alone while keeping a false smile on my face as to not show him my hate for children.

"Ok miss! Bye bye!"

As he walks away with the cart the smile fades from my face and a look mixed with annoyance and exhaustion crosses over it. "I really fucking hate kids."

After working my shift I go back to the back rooms and clock out after putting my vest back on the old rack connected to the dirty concrete wall. "They should really clean this place up." I walk out of the back doors and feel the nice fresh smelling air flow into every pore of my body, I just take it in for a moment and enjoy it. "I'm finally free." The sun continues to shine down on me but now it shines from the other side of the sky as it had been quite a while since my shift had started. Finally I get to go home so I walk around there right side of the building and get back on the sidewalk I had came on. I need to smoke something, I rub my face with my hands then untie the bun I had put my hair previously into. As I walk I just think about some stuff. "Today hasn't been all too bad, it could've been better but as long as I've got weed I'm fine." I walk along the side walk lost in thought but then I hear tires screech to a halt next to me. A whirring sound comes from my right as the window of this black Mercedes with tinted windows rolls down and a sly whistle comes from behind the whirring of the window.

"Hey hot momma. Wanna hop on in and go on a joyride?"

A look of pure disgust scrapes across my face as he catcalls me, I just stare at him for a moment out of disgust. "What is with these creepy old men and catcalling women who didn't even ask for it, I don't even like men."

"Fuck off you cunt. You look like a sun dried raisin fucked a bagel and they had a weird disabled baby."

He hastily rolls the window up after an angered look covers his face almost as if you could feel his anger manifesting, and then he speeds off. "Clearly his fragile masculinity couldn't take some stupid shit like that, what a bitch." I have never liked guys like that, also another reason to hate men. The only kind of men I can even tolerate are gay guys cause they don't care if we get together or not.

I just continue walking as my day has been continuously ruined more and more as the day went on, once again I'm passing by the fountain but this time it looks different. "Why does it look like that? What is that smell?" I smell some weird funky smell creeping into my nose like that old guy who hit on me earlier. For a moment I stand there and look through the water of the fountain spraying into the air, I see something behind it but I can't exactly make it out. I squint my eyes to see better but then I see it. It is a man literally shitting in the fountain. "What. The. Fuck."

I am absolutely flabbergasted by what I'd just seen so I just walk home exhausted and tired. This has been the longest walk home I've ever done. "Please god just give me a break please." I look up at the sky as if to talk to the man above with my mind as I hold my hands together as if I was praying. I finally make it back to my house and open the door, walking inside I hang up my coat and take my shoes off then set them at the door ready for the next day. "This has been the worst day ever."