Just for Tonight

21.

Helldone's festival meant a short set for every band invited there. Apocalyptica, The 69Eyes and The Rasmus had already been on stage, and HIM usually closed the show.

Ville took one last sip before going on stage. He needed it. One more concert without her. Knowing she was out there, not far from him, was eating him in a really bad way.

Tonight should have been the last concert of the tour. Afterwards, they could have started their life together. And she was gone. Had he lost her?

He sighed and tried to concentrate on the show. " Six songs, Ville. Only six songs...", he thought to himself as he entered the stage.

"3...2...1...Happy New year eveyone", he shouted into his mic.

After the four first songs, Migé and the guys began to play the first chords of " Just for tonight".

Ville looked at them, puzzled.

Suddenly, he heard a clear voice.

" Too late, won't stop
Tonight I want to go deeper
Tomorrow takes it all away

She appeared on stage and took place next to him. She took his hand in hers, smiling.

" Time's running out
The night is only a shell".

Ville had lost his voice. He looked at her in wonder. He managed to join his voice to hers on the second chorus, tears rolling down his cheeks.

They locked eyes. He read what he needed to read in her eyes. Right after the last chorus, he kissed her with the passion of their reunion and the despair of their separation, which had been so brutal.

The audience applauded for a long time, aware that they were witnessing something beautiful between two people who loved each other deeply.

"Happy New Year, honey," he murmured. "Stay with me for the last song. When love and death embrace. Sing with me," he asked her.

Once again, their two voices joined. They interpreted this last song with huge emotion and were applauded for a long time.

Ville was craving to ask her a thousand questions. But he had to meet people, talk to other members of other groups, celebrate the New Year. He couldn't keep his hands off her, but they both had to be patient.

A big party was held in the festival bar, at the Tavastia Club.

Ville refused every glass offered. He had already had too much to drink and wanted to look his best when they talked.

Perttu spotted Chloe and walked towards her, followed by Eicca, Jussi and Jyrki.

"Chloe ! How are you sweetie ?" Perttu asked her with a big, charming smile. But he saw Ville's gaze and played it down.

"Hi, Perttu ! Fine, thank you ! Happy New year to you", she said to them all, calmly.

" Sorry guys", Ville said, his face straight. " My lady and I have to leave now.". He squeezed her hand and led her outside.

" Am I dreaming, Chloe ? Are you... Really there ?", he sighed as he hold her tight.

" I am, beautiful", she smiled, wiping her tears away.

" I thought I would never see you again. I was so afraid you'd think I'd abandoned you. I swear, I had no choice", he said, randomly kissing her cheeks, forehead and lips.

" At the time... I felt like you were getting rid of me. It was difficult, I was in an unknown country, surrounded by people I didn't know... I felt sick... Yeah it was like I'd been abandoned", she whispered . "The Belgian doctor explained why I had to stop the tour immediately".

"Did you blame me?" he risked.

She didn't answer and they walked in silence.

" I want to go... Home", she said as she called a cab.

He looked at her. The cab arrived and she got in.

"Are you coming?" she asked. He got in and sat next to her. She gave the driver her address and plunged into thought.

When they arrived, she opened the door to her apartment and let Ville in.
Still silent, she prepared two coffees and invited him with a nod to sit next to her on the sofa.

"I did", she finally answered. "At first I thought it was an easy way to get rid of me. I blamed you for...following. Seppo and the boys. The schedule... The damn fucking schedule."

She paused before resuming. "With the shrink's help, I began to understand that it wasn't you I was angry at, or anyone else. I was angry with myself for not holding out. And the doctor here in Helsinki explained to me that burnout is not a sign of weakness, but a sign of having been strong for too long. Although I'm still struggling with that explanation." she shyly smiled.

Ville looked at her for a long moment. Her face was different, thinner, the bones in her cheeks more prominent. Her eyes were larger, but he could still see the flame in them.

" Do you... Are you still in love with me, or... Is it over between us ?" he asked, afraid of what she could say next.

"Nurse Maria confiscated my phone. That's why I couldn't write or reply to you. Occasionally she gave it to me when you called, but very rarely... If that's what made you doubt my love...", she explained.

" That's a partial answer, Chloe," he insisted, his eyes watering.

" Ville, I love you. I love you like I've never loved before. You know what I mean? I love you so much that I'm here with you, I love you so much that I'm doing this damn tour with you in the US. Because, beautiful, I don't want to be away from you anymore. You are the One. Never-doubt-it again. " she said as she squeezed his hand.

"Like you've never loved before ?", he repeated, puzzled.

"I know you're thinking about him. Ian.. . Our love, you and me... Is certainly more complicated. We suffer because we love each other that way. It's... As you said, fusional and passionate love at the same time. But this love is just like us, isn't it?". They locked eyes.

He had a last thing to confess.

" Chloe... It scares me to tell you this... But I want to be honest. I drink... I've been drinking. Not just a little. I fell back into a vicious circle where getting up on stage without you was unbearable. Every concert without you... It was horrible, I had a hole in my heart, night after night... And so... Do yo really still love me ? ". The tears finally flowed freely. He waited for her reaction.

"We each have our own path to follow. For you, it's to stop drinking. For me, it's getting back on the road with you. Do you think, if I'm there, night after night... You can make it this far?" she whispered as she cupped his beautiful face in her hands.

" You make me feel... Invincible. Yes, I promise, honey. That's how much I love you", he said as he kissed her. " You are the One for me too".