Just for Tonight

36.

Normally, they were home. Since two days. Neither of them had taken her phone calls, and she didn't dare go to Ville's.

"Breathe, Chlo", she thought.

Was Claudia right? No, it wasn't that, there was something else. More serious, no doubt. "Breathe." She felt the panic attack surge through her like a speeding arrow. Her hands became clammy and her back covered in a cold sweat. No tears, just dull anxiety. She took her head in her hands, leaning against her desk.

"Go home, Chlo", Matti whispered to her.

She nodded.

She had just returned home when there was a sharp knock on her door.

He didn't wait for her reply and entered.
"You'll never lock your door", he sighed.

"Not as long as I'm waiting for you", she replied, throwing herself around his neck.

He held her close for a long time, sniffing the scent of her hair, tears welling up in his eyes.

"You smell like home", he managed to say.

"Ville, two days ... what's going on?"

"It's a long story, honey. Let me just... be with you. I'll explain everything. Right now, I need you in my arms."

He looked into her eyes and kissed her.

Later that night, as her eyes began to close, he pronounced three little words.

"HIM is over".

She sat up and switched on the night-light.

"What?" she asked. "How? Ville ..."

"It's mostly my decision. If you're going to blame anyone, then I'm guilty."

"I I ..I don't want to blame anyone, Ville."

She looked at him intensely. He was exhausted and worried about her reaction." Explain everything to me, Beautiful".

He sighed deeply.
"The flame of the beginning has burnt out. There's nothing left. There's no energy left. And anyway, it doesn't matter."

A few tears rolled down his cheeks." We talked it over with the guys. Well, I talked. They didn't even try to... anyway. It's time to move on."

She stared at him, disbelief written all over her face.

"So... it's really over? Everything you've built, finished." She almost whispered, as if saying it out loud would have made it more real.

"It is, honey. This was our last tour. I'm so sorry, I'm disappointing you."

"I'm...surprised. Something must have happened. You would never be impulsive about HIM". But she saw how tired he was. "If you want it to, we can talk about it tomorrow. You really need some rest."

"Thanks for being here, honey. I love you."

She barely slept, listening to Ville's breathing, which was now peaceful. The next morning, she made him breakfast while waiting for him to get up.

"Honey, you look like you've had a sleepless night!", he exclaimed.

"Don't worry about me. And if you need to talk, I'm here", she replied.

"I don't know what else to tell you. But you, tell me, what do you think?"

"Did you have a row?" she softly asked.

"No, not really. It just happened."

She took a long moment to think, as she prepared two mugs of coffee. She sat down opposite him and took his hands in hers.

"Do you need an outside opinion on the situation?".

"I've been waiting so long to talk to you about it. I wanted to, you know, but I didn't want you to worry. Especially with all this distance between us. So yes, please, tell me how you see ... everything". He weakly smiled.

"I understand. Basically, I saw certain little things. I didn't pay attention at the time. But if I put it all together ... You are the driving force behind HIM. You always have been. You believe that everyone's opinion is important and you've always wanted to involve them in the decisions. You've created a real family where everyone has their say. Am I wrong?". She paused, not knowing what he thought.

He sadly smiled. "There's a lot of truth in what you say. And I'm tired. I feel like I'm the only one still motivated by the project."

He sighed. "The decision was taken last month. When we landed three days ago, I really wanted to come straight to you. But I had a lot of anger inside me, and I didn't want you to bear the brunt of it. I waited until I was calmer before coming to see you. "

"I knew something was going wrong because you barely called me... but I would never have imagined that it was ... this. And how are the guys ? What did they say ? What do they think ?".

"I don't know. We didn't really talk. We managed to finish the tour and that's it."

She frowned. "Beautiful, you can't do that. Cut ties with those closest to you."

"What do you want me to do then?" he replied, raising his voice.

"You need to talk. After more than twenty years together, to have it all come to such an abrupt end... even if HIM is no more, you are still a family. Don't you think?"

"I don't think so. I made the decision, but they let me make it. They made sure I came to this conclusion, with their lack of desire, so to speak."

"Ville. We're talking about your childhood friends. We're talking about Migé, Linde, Burton and Gas. Not vague acquaintances. We're talking about them."

"Chloe, HIM isn't coming back. That's my decision". He sighed.

"I'm not talking about the band. I'm talking about your friends", she softly repeated.

He looked at her for a long time without saying anything. She held his gaze.

"I know you're right." A tear fell to his lips. "We haven't spoken in weeks. I don't know how to... fix this. As you know, I can be an asshole... I know I wasn't very formal when I spoke to them. I know I was harsh. That I'm difficult to live with. But I had to tell them how I felt and it just came out... like that. Like a razor blade."

She looked at his beautiful, sad face.

"Will you ... will you allow me to talk to them? I don't want to overstep my bounds with you, Ville. But if I can help you, I'm willing to try and talk to the guys."

He considered her proposal for a moment. They would listen to her. She would find the words to explain, he had no doubt.

"You can actually help me with the boys. And that is one of the reasons why I love you so much."

He took her in his arms.