Just for Tonight

38

Five months later.

The Bang and Whimper tour had been underway for two weeks. Every evening, Chloe joined Ville on stage for their duet.

The announcement of HIM's split had been a thunderclap in the music world and among fans. Every venue was packed, and the tour was already sold out in several cities.

Outside the concert, however, Ville isolated himself from everyone. No one knew how to communicate with him, even Chloe was left alone.

On that evening, she joined him in the alley alongside the concert hall. Ville was smoking and she too lit a cigarette. She placed her arm gently on his, but he pulled away.

"Ville...what's going on?"

"Is it too much to ask you to leave me alone for a bit, Chloe?" he grumbled before throwing his cigarette on the floor and turning on his heels.

She followed him, but he coldly looked at her.

"Stop clinging to me like that, Chlo. Forget about me for a while."

She watched him rush into the bus and she returned to the others. She hid her dismay. This tour was supposed to be a last dance, not a swan song.

She tried again at night to slip into his bunk, but he pushed her away again.

Unable to sleep, she made her way to the front of the bus. Linde was already there, sitting and reading a book. He looked up when he heard her coming. She sat next to him.

"Chloe ... what's going on?" he asked, seeing his friend's sad face.

"I know him by heart. His mood swings, when something is bothering him. And he usually ends up telling me about it. But not this time. He's withdrawn into himself." She wiped away her tears.

Linde took her in his arms and she put her head on his shoulder.

"What's your book about?," she asked him.

"A dragon story. Eragon. That's pretty cool," he smiled.

"Will you read a little quietly for me?"

They settled more comfortably. She rested her head on his lap as he read the story softly to her.

A few moments later, she was asleep. Linde leaned his head back on the seat gently, so as not to wake her, and closed his eyes.

Ville woke up when the bus stopped to refuel. His heart skipped a beat as he thought back to the way he had rejected Chloe the day before. He lifted the curtain separating him from her bunk.

She wasn't in her bed.

Maybe she'd gone out for a smoke? He stood up and made his way to the front of the bus. That's when he saw them both, asleep, Chloe's head on Linde's lap.

His blood ran cold.

"Linde, what the hell?" he screamed.
Several bunk curtains parted.

Chloe and Linde gasped, fully awake.

"He read me a story and I fell asleep," she tried to explain.

"I'm talking to Linde," Ville continued to yell.

"Again, you're hurting her, Ville. Then I'll take care of her," Linde mumbled.

With long strides, Ville exited the bus, Chloe on his feet.

"Ville!" she whispered. "We just fell asleep!".

Ville turned to her, and looked at her in a way she had never seen before.

"You, leave me alone. You and your fucking need for attention. Let go of me!". His face was full of anger. As she didn't respond, he came up to her and grabbed her by the shoulders. But a flash of fear passed into her eyes, and he let her go.

She fell to her knees on the tarmac of the gas pump, in tears.

He sat across from her, his face closed.

"I'll go on with the tour without you. Go back to Helsinki" he said harshly.

"Ville... and what about ... us?" she tried to ask between sobs. "Do you want us to break?"

"It's over, and has been for a long time" he replied coldly. "I finally got tired of you. I should never have come to see you one year ago. Things would have been easier for both of us. Go away, and quickly. There's nothing between us anymore."

Chloe leapt to her feet. Migé, who had witnessed the scene from a little further away, came to meet her.

"What's going on, Chloe?" he asked.

"Ville and I, it's over, Migé. I'm going back to Helsinki," she replied, calmer. The tears had stopped flowing under the harshness of Ville's words. "He obviously doesn't want me anymore".

Suddenly, an almost animal-like growl made them turn back to Ville. He burst into tears.

She carefully approached him, who was still sitting on the floor. He wrapped his arms around her legs.

"Forgive me, Chloe, forgive me. I didn't mean what I said." She sat down opposite him again. He was sobbing and having trouble breathing.

Migé left them alone.

"I swear, honey, I didn't mean it," he managed to say. "I can't do that without you. It's so heartbreaking."

"Are you talking about the tour?" she asked him.

"It's so... hard. I feel like I'm giving up what's dearest to me."

"Am I too much in your good-byes?"

"No, you're not. I don't know why I keep rejecting you," he confessed.

"I'm not really part of HIM, Ville . It would make sense for you to make sure you stay with the guys, only," she said softly.

She looked at him. There was no longer anger on his face, but a deep sadness.

"Does it hurt that much, this last round?"

"You can't know how much. I think... I wanted to hurt you too. I wanted you to suffer like I suffer. For you to understand me. I don't know if that explanation means anything to you, but deep down, I know it's the reason why I was an... asshole."

He plunged his eyes into hers.
"Will you forgive me?". He lowered his head.

"I forgive you, Ville. But your words ... it was so hard... I don't... there was no love left in you, at that moment. And if you don't love me anymore, then, tell me what I'm doing here?", she replied sadly.

"I need you. I swear."

"I don't know, I don't think you do. Once again, I left my job behind me to follow you. Look ... we have had some time together in Helsinki, waiting for Gas to heal from his wrist surgery. Before you left for Tears On Tape, we talked about getting engaged. You never mentioned it again. I don't know who I am for you anymore."

"My soul mate. Without a shadow of a doubt. My better half."

He took her in his arms and held her close.

"Come on," he said, rising to his feet. "Let's get back on the bus. I also need to apologize to everyone."