Just for Tonight

22.

Three weeks. They had three weeks ahead of them, just the two of them.

" Honey, are you sure you're coming with me to the U.S.?", Ville asked for the hundredth time.

She laughed. "Look, I'm just finishing the laundry so I can start packing."

"There's still time! We've got so much time on our hands!", he giggled.

"We spend so much time in the bedroom that we don't really need clothes" , she flirtatiously grinned at him.

"Maybe... Would you like to go out? I mean... You, me, grab a bite outside?", he asked.

" Ville Valo... Are you offering me a date?", she widely smiled.

"Whatever you want... But it's true we've never really dated...", he looked at her intensely.

" Well, we managed to be just the two of us when we went for a walk... From time to time", she noticed.

" Our story really isn't... classic. But you know, to be with you, I just need your arms, our long conversations...and that", he said as he kissed her deeply.

She kissed him back, then gently pulled away from his embrace.

"Is it... Am I enough for you?", she shyly asked and she drowned in his green eyes. 

" Honey...", he began.

" Because you're my everything, Ville", she continued.

He sighed. From time to time, she had doubts. He knew she blamed herself for weeks of absence. He sensed she was questioning herself, and guessed she believed he had sought and found affection in the arms of another girl. He didn't blame her. Every time she hadn't picked up the phone, worst-case scenarios, including Chloe and a torrid caregiver, had played out in his head. Their love wasn't born to be calm and serene, but it was huge and beautiful.

"You are my world, my heart. I haven't... You're all I thought about, every minute, every day. Even drunk, I never cheated on you... Chloe, believe me. Remember... When I love, I love", he whispered. "And now, can I take my girlfriend on her first official date?".

He took her to a little brasserie he liked. He asked for a particular table, at the back of the brasserie, hidden by the bar.

Caught up in his own uncertainties, he asked her the question that was burning his lips.

" So... You told me that you love me like never before. How...", he tried to put in words. " what about your past with Ian ?"

"Well, I get what you try to ask. With Ian, we made a lot of plans. We talked about getting married, buying a house, getting a dog... We lived our story both in the present and in the future. I was happy with our way of life, don't get me wrong. As you know, we weren't lucky enough to have a future. But with you... I don't think we ever talked about a common future," she says detachedly. "And on the other hand, that makes the present so much more... intense, so precious. Every moment with you... I don't know if it will ever happen again.  I need to engrave it intensely in my memories, in my heart."

"Do you think I'm going to leave you? That we'll break up?". Ville raised his eyebrow.

She shrugged. "Anything's possible," she said. "That doesn't mean I want to. I'm trying to adapt to the situation and not make any plans. The strength lies in realizing that you're living in a wonderful moment, and knowing that it may never happen again. And at the same time, I'll fight for you, for us, so that life gives us the chance to always be together. "

He remained silent. He was hurt but he understood what she was refering to. Her fake detached air was due to the medication she was taking, he was sure.

" Even though I'm not discussing future plans with you, Chloe, that doesn't mean I'm planning for everything to stop.".

He removed the bracelet from his arm and put it on her wrist. " It suits you," he smiled. "I want it to remind you that I can't imagine my life without you."

She looked at the bracelet. "Can I keep it... Forever?"

"Remember how I was - and still am -  always afraid you'd vanish into thin air? I hope this bracelet will always bring you back to me", he wished.

"I've got something for you too," she said, taking a small box from her coat pocket. "it's something I made... Thinking of you... You know, during therapy".

She placed the box in front of Ville.

"Can I open it now?" he asked.
She nodded.

It was a thin necklace with a wooden pendant, on which were engraved three words. "Just for tonight"

"It's beautiful, honey," he exclaimed, putting it around his neck.

"This song helped me a lot when I was away from you. It was something cathartic", she sadly smiled.

"Our separation has caused damage. For you and for me," he muttered. "We need to take advantage of every free moment to reconnect".

That night, they cuddled up together as if nothing in the world could keep them apart.

The next morning, he observed her at breakfast. She had pills in one hand and a glass of water in the other, and seemed hesitant.

"You're not taking your meds ? " , he asked.

"I don't know, I just... I feel like I need to stop taking this shit. I don't feel like myself since I've had them. I get dizzy every time... No, I don't want them anymore," she declared.

Then, looking at Ville, she asked: "How do you manage it? Stopping drinking?"

"It depends on the moment, but I don't feel the need," he smiled, "because you're here."