Crushing (Joshler)

28. Selfish

***Trigger warnings for drug use (weed), homophobia, a panic attack, past trauma/abuse, mentions of self harm, and sexual content.***

Wait to start the song.

Tyler's body was still heavy and sleepy from the weed when he stumbled into his apartment that night. Josh had bought them tacos on the way home, and they had all eaten far too many of them, which might be part of the reason Tyler felt so weighed down. It was late enough for him to be pretty confident that Brendon was already asleep, so he simply started toward the stairs when he came in. He was surprised when an equally red and bleary-eyed Brendon peeked his head out of his bedroom door as Tyler made it to the top of the stairs. He felt like he was watching in slow motion as Brendon processed the fact that they were both immensely stoned.

"What the hell?" Was Brendon's only question, sounding one part concerned and two parts impressed. "Dude, where have you been?"

There was no one to blame except the drugs when Tyler's mouth released the words, "Just getting the naked pictures my ex had of me off of the internet. It's all good now, I think."

They blinked at each other again for an incredibly delayed moment as they both came to terms with what Tyler had just confessed. Unwilling to deal with the repercussions or follow up questions that may come after that admission, Tyler shrugged and started heading toward his room. He nearly jumped out of his skin when he felt Brendon grab his hand and carefully pull him back into the hallway.

Their eyes were equally wide when Tyler finally looked at Brendon, finding that Brendon actually looked a little bit nervous. "Uh, I'm gonna need more information than that before you leave. Your ex did what?"

Tyler shrugged, only vaguely aware that Brendon was still holding his hand. He decided to chalk that up to shock and pot. "Josh and his friend took care of it, I think. It probably isn't going to happen anymore."

"Right, but it still did," Brendon pointed out, looking extremely concerned now. "Are you okay? How long has this been going on? I didn't even know you were actually dating someone. Is she from Alabama?"

Tyler struggled to string all of those questions together well enough to come up with a response. How was he feeling more high now than he had at Pete's house? "No, in Ohio. Before I came. He posted them before I came."

Tyler only had a second to look at Brendon's changed expression before he realized what he'd said. "I mean— No, sorry. I didn't mean to say—" Tyler stammered out, a combination of the weed, shock, and fear all blocking his brain from finding a single solution to the pit he'd just dug for himself.

Brendon's hand was gone in an instant. He looked like he'd been punched in the gut for a second before he laughed loudly and suddenly, making Tyler jump. "Dude, you are so faded. You're saying crazy shit. You should go to bed."

Unsure of why he'd been gifted an out in this situation, Tyler forced himself to laugh as well before saying, "Yeah. You're probably right. I'm going to go to bed."

"Cool. Sorry about your ex. She sounds like a bitch," Brendon tossed over his shoulder as he retreated to his room.

Tyler blinked, his eyelids heavy despite his brain suddenly feeling completely sober. "Thanks," he replied dazedly. His brain felt like it wasn't sitting in his skull properly as he added, "Yeah, she's a bitch. Goodnight, Brendon," and immediately went back into his room.

He closed the door behind himself, stumbling slightly as he made his way over to his bed, where he plopped down and stared blankly at the wall for a second. Why hadn't Brendon gotten mad? Why had he just assumed it was the weed? Why was that entire interaction so strange?