Crushing (Joshler)

5. Logic

***Trigger warnings for internalized homophobia and mentions of vomit and abuse.***

Start the song. It's Shipwreck by Jeremie Albino.

Josh was so tired when he came home from football practice that he barely made it through the "to do" list Ashley had left for him before he was climbing into bed next to her. She was still awake this time, watching some kind of art history lecture despite how tired she looked too. She instinctively lifted her laptop once Josh was on the bed, allowing him to lay his head in her lap and wrap his arms around her waist. He felt the laptop be set down on the bed beside him before Ashley's fingertips were soothing along his back gently.

"How was practice?" She asked him quietly. Thankfully, she accepted his noncommittal grumble as a response and continued to carry his weight in their exchange. "Freshman again?"

"Mmhm," Josh mumbled, feeling more and more exhausted with every passing second.

"Do you want me to take my homework down to the living room so you can sleep?" She offered.

Josh shook his head, not willing to lose out on any physical contact with Ashley when he was this tired. Even if the room wasn't completely dark and her laptop was still making noise, he would sleep far better with her in here than he would if she was anywhere else.

Ashley was quiet for a few minutes apart from her pencil scratching against paper every now and then when the lecturer said something she deemed important enough to write down. Josh dozed off a couple times while Ashley listened to the lecture, but he woke up whenever she shifted beneath him. When she finally shut her laptop and shifted her homework off of the bed and onto the floor, Josh was more than happy to let her shift him wherever she wanted him to be. He wound up with his head resting against her chest and her arms wrapped around him.

The lamp on Ashley's side of the bed was finally turned off, and then there was nothing left to stop Josh from falling asleep. Ashley's fingers combed gently through his hair, and every muscle in his body relaxed when she whispered to him, "Goodnight, buddy. I love you so much."

"Love you too," Josh told her through a yawn.

Just when Josh was almost fully asleep, Ashley startled him awake by saying, "I don't want him to live with Brendon."

"What? Who?" Josh grumbled, slipping his hand beneath the hemline of her shirt to lightly hold onto her hip. The pads of his fingertips gently stroked the skin there as he tried to ground himself and remind himself that he was in Montgomery in his apartment in his bedroom in his bed with Ashley and no one else.

"Tyler. Our new neighbour. I feel really anxious about him living with Brendon," Ashley told him quickly, like she had to get the words out as quickly as possible before they turned to dust on her tongue.

"Why?" Josh asked, his thumb lightly rubbing Ashley's skin as he lifted his head so he could tuck his face into the crook of her neck. "He ain't been here long enough to have a problem with Brendon yet. He's fine."

"He's gay," Ashley told him simply, sounding even more anxious now. "Josh, I don't even know if he's safe in that apartment. If Brendon finds out-"

"We'll hear if Brendon does anything stupid. The walls are thin. If I hear Brendon saying or doing anything shitty, I'll go get your friend out of there. He's fine, princess. As long as he keeps his mouth shut, Brendon's harmless to him," Josh insisted. "And we have an extra bedroom in this place if he needs to get out of there quick. As long as you and me both watch his back, he'll be okay."

Ashley hugged him a little closer. "He said Brendon told him that you're a psychopath and that you're dangerous," she reported.

Josh sighed. "Well, until he gives me a reason to, I ain't turned into a psychopath yet."