Crushing (Joshler)

8. Companionship

***Trigger warnings for mentions of past domestic violence, mentions of periods/PMS/endometriosis, briefly mentioned drug use (marijuana), revenge porn, and internalized homophobia.***

Start the song. It's No Face by Haley Heynderickx.

Five new pictures. Five new pictures of Tyler in various states of undress had been posted last night. This time, they were all pictures he'd sent his ex on his own. They were pictures that anyone who looked at them would think he had taken for the explicit purpose of posting onto porn sites for strangers to jerk off to. Except he hadn't. He'd taken them for one person he'd thought he could trust and had no reason to feel unsafe sending pictures to. No one was going to believe that though.

Tyler could barely focus all morning, his attention constantly being pulled back to the links sitting in his inbox that made him feel sick and strangled at the same time. He'd already told Josh he didn't have class until this afternoon, so he didn't really have the option of ditching class without causing his neighbours to think he was even more unstable than they already did. He felt like he was losing his mind though.

Even though he felt like he was going to throw up, he decided to go downstairs to the kitchen and eat breakfast just to give himself something else to focus on. When he got to the bottom of the stairs, he could've cried from relief at the discovery of Brendon sitting at their kitchen table, eating a bowl of cereal while he read from a textbook. Brendon's eyes barely glanced at him at first before he seemed to process that Tyler still looked just as horrible as he had the night before, and then he was sitting up straight and watching Tyler walk over to the fridge to retrieve one of the apples Ashley had made him buy.

"Hey, you get any sleep?" Brendon asked straight away, doing a terrible job of hiding his concern. "Sorry I crashed before you. I didn't mean to leave you hanging like that."

Tyler shrugged, leaning against the counter. "It's okay. I didn't really expect you to stay up all night with me. That would've been insane. I got some sleep eventually, so it worked out okay."

"Yeah? That's good," Brendon genuinely seemed to be relieved for Tyler. "I feel bad you had to deal with whatever was bugging you by yourself, but I'm glad you at least slept for a few hours."

"I didn't have to do it all by myself. I think I woke Josh up at like three in the morning. He texted me to make sure I was okay and then brought me ice cream and talked outside with me for a while until I felt like I could go to sleep," Tyler informed Brendon, whose jaw immediately clenched.

He looked back down at his textbook, turning the page somewhat irritably as he mumbled bitterly, "I'm sure he did."

Tyler hesitated before asking timidly, "Brendon, why do you hate him so much?"

Brendon scoffed, closing his book as he looked back up at Tyler with more fire behind his eyes than Tyler was comfortable with. "I already told you. He's a diagnosed psychopath. He's exactly the person you want him to be when you're around him, but if you do anything he doesn't like, he'll let you know real fast. You know he broke his sister's arm when he was a kid? That the reason so many schools tried to get him on their football team is because he's so ruthless on the field that he can take out nearly half a team's best players by injuring them before the ref benches him, and the school waives his penalties every time? He's a dangerous person, Tyler."

"Aren't psychopaths supposed to not be able to feel empathy though?" Tyler pointed out as he sat down across from Brendon, setting the apple down in front of himself with no intention of actually eating it.

"He doesn't feel empathy, Tyler. Ashley does. Josh just mirrors her reaction to things. When he's by himself, he doesn't know how to react to other people's emotions. That's literally the only reason he keeps her around. She's like a tool or something for him. He doesn't have a conscience, so he borrows hers. He's always done that," Brendon explained, seeming even more annoyed with every word.