Hard Habit to Break

Chapter 15

We were fire and ice, a raging inferno

Our love was like dynamite, ready to explode

But fate had other plans, our flames extinguished

Now I'm left here lost, my heart torn in two

I never thought I'd lose you

What a fool I am

I thought we'd be together forever

But now you're gone, leaving me alone in the dark

We were never meant to be just friends

So now I'm nothing to you

Eddie leaned back, looking down at the words he'd just written, the notebook filled with page after page of lyrics that had been flowing out of him these last two weeks since his return to California. It appeared he'd just needed inspiration and it had come, in the form of a girl with dark brown hair and blue eyes. He just needed to let his heart get destroyed all over again to find new material.

It had started on the plane. He'd been reclined back, hoping for sleep to take him, to get him out of his own head, away from the wretched place where he'd imploded his life into a million pieces all over again. But then his finger had started tapping a beat on his leg, an angry, haunting guitar riff began playing in his head, and suddenly words were coming with it. Words about loss, heartache, fucking up the best thing in your life all over again. And just like that, he'd had the first verse of the first song for their new album.

We had it all, but I fucked it all up

Are you surprised? It's who I am

I took you for granted, didn't show you my love

I didn't see what I had until it was too late

You were gone

I wish I could take it all back

I'd give anything to make it right

Go back in time and change so much

Make you see you're the only thing that ever mattered to me

I'm sorry for the pain I caused

But now you'll never forgive me

By the time they landed, he had the whole song written, his fingers itching to get to his guitar so he could complete it. His leg bounced in agitation the entire car ride to his house until he dashed inside, dropping his bag on the floor by the door. Racing to his music room, he'd snatched his old Warlock off the wall. It just felt right, using the first instrument he'd ever written a song about her on.

For the rest of their break, he'd remained locked up in his house, words and notes pouring out of him, working maniacally through everything he was feeling with his music. The way he always used to before he began to deal with his shit with drugs. He'd forgotten how good it felt, this natural high. Instead of snorting powder up his nose or drowning himself in whiskey, he was going through pots of coffee, staying up through the night until the sun rose. He was a man obsessed but for once, he was obsessed with the right thing.

Gareth had dropped in to check on him a couple of times, asked him if he needed to attend a meeting or check-in with Gayle, the therapist that Arty kept on call for all of his artists. But he didn't. He really didn't. He did it, because he knew it's what they all needed him to do, but he wasn't feeling a single urge besides the urge to write. And now, after two weeks, he had seventeen songs done, more than they even needed for a new album and they just kept coming.