Every Single Thing I Touch || HeartLiming "Moonlight Chicken"

15. Confrontation

"It's like you're a leech, sucking the life from me. It's like I can't breathe without you inside of me. And I know I let you have all the power and I realize I'm never gonna quit you over time"

—Kelly Clarkson, "Addicted"

Heart woke up first the next morning, as the entire world went quiet again. He breathed out, as he felt an unbearable pain on his right shoulder. He slowly turned sideways, eyes softening to see Liming pressed to his side, sleeping gently. There were obvious tear stains on his rosy cheeks, as his head was a complete bird's nest. He knew that he was the reason why Liming was sleeping like a hollow person next to him. He remembered how Liming kept crying over and over and how much Heart wanted to hear him and comfort him—and he did, but he couldn't eve hear his own voice.

Heart swallowed, as a sob threatened to break at his throat. He wasn't worried about never hearing his voice again—to be frank, he was kinda annoyed with it too. He used that voice to bring Liming so much pain months ago, and if anything he wished that it was his voice that God took away, not his hearing. But when has God ever listened to him, right? After all, he was just another waste on earth.

But the fact that he would never be able to hear Liming again, to banter with him as foreplay or for fun, to hear his unending barrage of questions—and answer him, to never hear him nag him, annoy and berate him, yell at him and even moan under him—that's what made Heart spiral into his inner monologues of absolute depression.

And all of this, just when he started to fall irrecoverably in love with Liming too.

He was never lucky, but this was beyond unluck. This was absolutely hell; all nine fucking levels of hell. Now he knew what Dante felt when he drew 'Inferno'.

It was all unfair. He finally managed to get the love of his fucking life, and now he can't even hear him again. He won't be able to hear his parents' nagging, birds chirping, people talking, music... fuck.

He won't be able to hear music again.

He'd have to retire his guitar forever, and he didn't even get to hear Liming sing, or sing along with him, knowing how beautiful and musical Liming's voice was.

Something broke inside Heart, as he bit his lips, closing his eyes in the ordeal. His lips wobbled as he kept swallowing his sobs, but his tears ran untouched, and it was something he couldn't stop at all. Using the arm that wasn't cushioning Liming's head to wipe his tears, he paused, seeing shadows behind the hospital room door. The door opened quietly, as two figures stepped in—his mom and dad. His mother was sobbing, and his father was rubbing her shoulders in comfort. Liming jostled in his sleep a bit as Heart raised an index finger to his lips to shush them. His parents looked at him incredulously, but walked away—much to the relief of Heart.

And so he continued to block his sobs with his tongue pressed to the back of his throat, hoping that Liming won't wake up anytime soon. He couldn't even hear how much of a disturbance he was being, and that annoyed the fuck out of him.

He was basically useless. The only thing he could hear hereafter was his own thoughts and none of them were positive right now.

Heart tightened his eyes, trying to reel back the tears that were racing down his cheeks, but it only made them run faster. And with Liming soundlessly (now—but Lord did he know how Liming snored) asleep next to him, he let his own depression take over. He blinked open his eyes, staring at the ceiling as a whiff of saline—that was needled into his arm, and disinfectant swarmed around him. He turned his head towards Liming, as the smell of a day old shampoo-washed hair engulfed him. It was way better than the fucking disinfectant enveloping both of them. Heart took a deep breath, feeling his other senses heighten suddenly.