march ² [poetry]

xiv. when snow taste became bitter

for cryin' out loud! - finneas
“i'm calling your name; you're wearing me out, but i love you the same.”

it's a simple mistake, just one situation, but i hate myself for barely anything

it's much more now than just clinging to those selfdestruction strings

i'm taking it out on the passing time until the blame is ascending

because going by your order, i went out of my way to reach the mistaken stars

now it's hard to even see them, once i could find them in my heart

but those flickers are gone barely turned to something great

i've never shown it much attention, had to listen to your silence-breaks

throughout the months, all of my focus went on you without intention,

it's been some time that i wasted, instead of using it for my own protection

it's my fault for trying to fix you with so weak of a caution,

because now that i see my reflection, life is turning to slow motion

calenders paint snowflakes on my cheeks, i think winter got imprinted

and i've kinda gotten stuck in all the cold that i once felt hinted

i've been trying to save one heart, yours, but ended up failing two

in the end i know too well that we wanted different flowers to bloom

though i don't know who to choose now-

i can't quite catch who's the important one, but is it myself oder is it you?

i always thought it would be you who first starts shutting down

a question's in the back of my mind, would i be okay if i left you doomed?

or would i just be trading all that blue,

and all those winter colors that you've left on me like tattoos?