I'm in Love...with a Rockstar (MCR)

Chapter Twenty-Eight: Again?

Months. That is how long I lie, motionless in my bed. Mikey understands my loss, partially. I don't talk, only lie in bed and let the tears slip down my cheeks. Mikey has to force me to get out of bed, even to go to the bathroom. He makes me eat, but I can't taste any of it. It just slides down my throat, tasteless lumps of nothing.

Thoughts fly through my mind. Sometimes, I never want to try to have another child. But then again, I do want to. Really bad. I have intense mood swings and once Mikey had to use cold water to get blood out of the carpet. I had chucked a vase across the room and then gone and scooped up a handful and pressed it deep into my hands, because I was so angry. My hands now have scars.

Other times, I am crying so hard I can't stand. Mikey is by my side all the time. He holds me when I am sad and when I am angry; he never leaves. He is in the kitchen when I get out of bed by myself for the first time. I had the miscarriage five months ago and parts of me still hurt. I don't mean my heart, which does hurt, but I mean my thighs and lower waist are sometimes filled with pain. Sometimes it's so bad I can't walk.But I do get out of bed, five months after it happened, by myself, without Mikey telling me to.

I slowly slip my legs out from under the sheets and place them on the floor. I stare at the wall, wondering if I can do this. One thing I forgot to mention, Lizzy and Heath are now married and Lizzy is going to have his baby. I don't like to see them nay more. A tender subject. Yes, she's still my best friend and I love her like a sister, but I can't bare to look at her now. It makes me sad too, because she's my best friend.

I push my hands against the bed and help myself to my feet. I can do it. I have to get over it. There are things in my life more important than my baby issues. Sometimes.  I reach the door and pull it open. It squeaks, alerting Mikey that I am up.

"Pierce?" He walks around from the back ofthe kitchen island. "Are you...are you actually out of bed without me telling you?"

"Yes." I say, one arm wrapped across my stomach, the other fiddling with a strand of my hair.

"Oh baby." Mikey says, enveloping me in his arms. "Good job."

"You say that like it's an accomplishment." I say, wrapping my arms around his neck. I kiss him for the first time in months. Five to be exact.

"You know how mush I've missed that." Mikey says, smiling. "I love you Pierce."

"I know . So have I."

The door opens, at the random, but I don't look away from Mikey. Something clatters to the floor and this time I door look over. Frank is standing in the door, staring at me.

"You. Got. Out. Of. Bed." He says, almost choking.

"Yes."

"Pierce. I love you!" He shouts and as I break away from Mikey, am taken to the ground by Frank. He sits on top of me.

"Uh. Frank?"

"Yes, deary?"

"Can you get off me?"

"Ooh. Right." He smiles and climbs off of my, and helps me to my feet. "So, what got you so happy all of a sudden? I mean, one day you were like...dead....and the next your alive."

"It's not a thing I should have to sulk over. I mean, it was...five months ago and we can also try again. You know. I...I felt it was time."

"YEAH!" Frank says, doing a double fist pump. I smile, rolling my eyes at him."What?"

"Nothing." I smile at him. I open my mouth to say something, but clamp it shut, deciding against it. Probably not a good idea. 'So," I say. "You guys found a new bassist?"

"Not new. I mean yeah, new, but he's temporary, right?" Frank glances to Mikey. "Mikey?"

"Yeah. Sure, temporary."

"Cool."

I look at my husband. He didn't sound convinced that it was temporary. "He Frank." Mikey says. "Get your car started I need to talk to you guys about something." He gives me a quick peck on the lips before following Frank out the door.

"What...where are you going?" I ask.

"I'll be back soon. Just, don't leave."

"I wasn't going to."

The door closes in response.

What did Mikey want to talk to them about? Why was he uncertain about there being a temp bassist?