I'm in Love...with a Rockstar (MCR)

Chapter Five: Confused

        I wake up after the operation, a dull ache in my lower back. The boys aren't anywhere that I can see, but the nurse might not let them see me yet. I sigh and push the call button. A nurse comes in.

        "Can I get some pain meds? My back is killing me."

        "Yes. I will be right back with those." She smiles and leaves. I groan and roll onto my side, which shoots pain up my spine. I half to clench my teeth to keep from screaming. I squeeze my eyes shut and try to concentrate on anything but the pain. I don't hear the boys come in, until a hand finds my shoulder. I don't open my eyes.

        "You alright?" It's Mikey.

        "No." I moan, rolling to my back and opening my eyes. He's the only one here.

        "They got the bullet out. That's good."

        "I guess."

        "You need to tell me something?" He asks, sitting on the edge of my bed. The nurse walks in and places an Advil and a glass of water on my table. I smile as she walks away. I slip the pill into my mouth and take a long drink of the cool water before answering.

        "Yeah..." I sigh. "You will promise not to tell the others though, right?"

        "Of course." He looks at me, deep concern in his face. He lays his hand on top of mine, waiting for me to speak.

        "So...you know I'm kinda having some boy issues."

        "Yeah. Something wrong?"

        "Everything's wrong. Jared kissed me and I thought we used to just be friends, but it seems that it has gotten more complicated than that. He likes me...like likes me. And I just want to be friends and...and..." I can't finish. I swallow hard as Mikey runs his fingers through my hair.

        "And you just want to be his friend."

        "Yeah. I got really angry at him the other day, he wouldn't stop texting me and I told him to fuck off and he hasn't texted me since. I hurt him and....I feel really bad. I don't know what to do." A stray tear finds its way to my eyes, but Mikey wipes it away before it can fall. I look up at him.

        "Heath texted again. You might want to check it." He hands me my phone and I look at Heath's message. I don't text him back. As soon as I put my phone on the table, it rings. Lizzy. I hold it up to my ear.

        "Hello?"

        "Hey, Pierce. You okay?"

        "Peachy." I say.

        "Did Jared text you or something?"

        "Yeah, why?"

        "Well, the day after you left he came to school and he didn't talk to anyone. He just sat in the back of all his classes and stared off. What happened?"

        "He was...he was just getting really annoying and I kind of told him to fuck off."

        "Pierce!! Why?"

        "He was getting on my nerves. I just....I wanted him to know that he could find someone way better than me. I want to just be his friend."

        "I'm not sure he even wants to be that anymore."

        "What? Why?"

        "He broke down in the middle of the school yard. Someone came up to him and he just snapped. He tried to tackle him. He's really angry with you Pierce."

        "What if you told him I got shot?"

        "WHAT?? Pierce! Did you get shot? Or are you just playing a really mean joke."

        "I got shot. And I want you to tell him that. Maybe it'll make him come round. Please tell him."

        "Where are you now?" She wasn't even listening to me. "What hospital are you at?"

        "LIZZY! Just tell him okay? Please?"

        "Okay."

        "Thank you. I'll call you later, okay?"

        "Alright," I push the end button and set the phone on the table next to my bed, sighing. Mikey is still looking at me. "What should I do?"

        "Be yourself. You'll find your person in the end."

        "I haven't ever dated anyone. What should I say if I do, by chance, meet the right one? What should I do?"

        "Be yourself. If they like who you are when you're being yourself, they'll get to know you better." I ponder his words. If I was just being myself...I would find Mr. Right?? I was being myself when I shouted at Jared...and now he's really angry at me. What do I do? I don't know what to do.

        "But that last time I was being myself, I hurt my best friend. That's not supposed to happen." I sigh and look up at Mikey. His eyes glint in the faint light. As I gaze into them, I realize, I don't have a crush on Gerard anymore. As I gaze into his eyes, I realize that Gerard is more like a brother to me. As I gaze into his eyes, I realize that I am beginning to like Mikey. He's still 26 years older than me...but at least he doesn't have a wife and daughter, right? I start to wonder if he likes me too. I'm kind of hoping that he does. Just when I am going to ask him, the other three boys file into the room.

        "Pierce! You're awake!" Gerard shrieks and they run to my side. "How are you feeling?"

        "Like shit." I say, closing my eyes again.

        "What happened? Did they get the bullet out?"

        "Yes." I say, barely audible. A nurse pushes through the boys to get to my side.

        "You'll be able to go home in a week, deary." She says, setting my chart on the table next to my bed. My eyes flicker open and I smile at her as she leaves. I get to leave next week. I get to go home. And maybe, just maybe, I’ll be able to spend some alone time with Mr. Mikey Way. I can only hope.