I'm in Love...with a Rockstar (MCR)

Chapter Seventeen: Baby oh Baby

        The last trimester of my pregnancy, they keep me in the hospital, just in case. They keep and eye on me, making sure I don't take a turn for the worst. I don't. I go into labor on January 30th. No one else is in the room. I feel a pain, searing and, for me, UN-natural. I scream, sitting up in bed and closing my eyes. I curl my toes as Mikey, Ray, Gerard and Frank burst into the room, along with a nurse.

        "She's in labor."

        "Ow...." I feel the sweat running down my forehead.

        "You can do this." Mikey says, grabbing my hand.

        "I'm sorry, but we need you all to leave." The nurse says.

        "But-"

        "Leave." They leave.

        "Mikey." Another contraction. Another scream. The doctor comes in, spreads my legs apart and lifts the blanket. He puts his arms under the blanket.

        "Push. Can I have you push for me? Come on, Pierce." I push. It hurts like fuck.

        Two fucking hours of pushing and shoving and screaming, finally, the girl decides to come out. She slides from in between my legs and is hurried away to be cleaned.

        "Good job Pierce." The doctor says, smiling. I nod and lay my sweaty head back against the pillows. The nurses clean me up and leave the room. I sleep. When I wake, Mikey is slumped in the chair next to me, asleep. I smile slightly. I try to lean in to kiss his forehead, by my stomach is still not completely healed. I groan as a small pain runs through me. Mikey's eyes open.

        "Hey baby." He sits up and leans in, placing his elbows on the bed, hands on his chin. "You did great." I smile.

        "Thanks." I croak.

        "You wanna see her?"

        "No." I turn my head into my pillow. If I see her, I won't want to let go. "No, I don't."

        "Alright. Ginevra and Jonny will be here to pick her up soon."

        "Okay." He grabs one of my hands with both of his and kisses it. "Good Job." The door swings open and a nurse walks in with a pink bundle in her arms. She hands her to me. Tear begin to form in my eyes. "No." I try to hand her back, but the nurse leaves. "No." I don't look at her. She will cause me too much pain. Mikey leans in.

        "She's beautiful."

        "Stop it." I say, the first tear escaping. "Stop."

        "But she is. Why don't you look?"

        "Because. If I look, I'm not going to be able to give her up. Take her back." I place her in Mikey's arms. "Take her back to the nurse." He stands and leaves the room. My head falls back against the pillows and as I shut my eyes, the tears begin to flow down my cheeks. I snuffle. I wipe the tears from my face. I shouldn't be sad. She's not my daughter anymore. She never will be. I put my hand up to my mouth and cry silently. Mikey walks into the door.

        "Baby?" He walks over to my shaking figure. "Oh, Pierce." He sits on the edge of the bed.

        "I-I-I'm so-sorry." I sob.

        "No, no. You have a reason to cry. You're first-born is leaving."

        "But I shouldn't be sad. I never wanted her. I would have been a terrible mother."

        "I beg to differ." Mikey smiles at me. "You would have made a great mother. Trust me. I would've helped you too."

        "I used to be so tough." I say, wiping my tear stained cheeks on the pillow case. "I never cried before I met you. Love is a bitch." He smiles at that.

        "Yes. Yes it is."

        The door is flung open and Gerard, Frank, and Ray come running, screaming, into the room. They all scurry over to the side of my bed and stand by me.

        "You were strong." Gerard says. "Great job, sis."

        "Yeah." Frank smiles. "Really tough for a girl of nineteen."

        "I'm proud to know you." Ray grins through his tangle of fro.

        "Thanks guys." I press my fingertips to my lips, thinking. My eyelids tremble, before closing. I left my arm flop to my side.        

        "Let her sleep." Mikey says. I keep my eyes closed, but I don't sleep. I listen to the boys. I think. I almost cry.

        "She's so beautiful when she's asleep." Mikey says, brushing the hair out of my eyes.

        "Yeah." Gerard agrees. "She's too you to go through that. Nineteen."

        "It's my fault." Mikey says. "It was my idea."

        "It brought you two together. That's good."

        "Yeah, but..." Mikey pauses. "Oh god, I love her." I hear someone fall into a chair, Mikey by the sound of it. He starts to cry. I open my eyes just the slightest, so I can see the scene before me. Mikey's body is shaking in the chair next to the bed, his hand running through his hair. Gerard has his arms wrapped tightly around Mikey's body. Ray has a slightly saddened expression on his face. Frank is on his knees in the corner."It's my fault she had to go through that. My fault. I suggested it. If only we had used your birthday gift." He sobs.

        "Mikey. Mikey, dude, it's okay." Gerard whispers. I close my eyes and just listen. "Milky Way." Mikey looks up when his brother called him by his old nickname, the tears still gleaming in his eyes. "Mikey, you're going to be okay. That child, brought you two together. It helped you."

        "I know." He sniffs. "I just....if only I had worn one."

        "It's not you're fault." My lips move without my brain's consent. My eyes stay closed, but I can feel them staring at me.

        "Pierce?" Mikey asks.

        "I told you, it's not you're fault. It's mine. I didn't stop you."

        "You tried. I didn't listen. I'm sorry."

        "Don't be." I open my eyes and lean forward, my lips crashing into his. "I love you, no matter what happens."