I'm in Love...with a Rockstar (MCR)

Chapter Thirty-Five: Break Down

Recap:

"Lizzy....please tell me he's okay. Tell me he's alive."

"Pierce, I'm sorry. I wanted to tell you. But after the crash you were unstable and....and I...." She stops.

"Lizzy?"

"He committed suicide, Pierce. I'm sorry." The other end goes dead.

Present:

My phone falls to the floor, hands trembling, tears filling eyes. Mikey stands and walks over to me. He knows what happened, it's hard not to. He pulls me into his arms, my arms lie limp at my sides in no attempt to hug him back. We sit there, for who knows how long, not talking.

"It happened, then?"

"Yes."

"Pierce, I'm sorry."

"Don't be." He pushes away and looks at me, confused. "You shouldn't be sorry. It was my fault. I pushed him away. I told him to leave me alone. I broke him.  I made him who he was, depressed and angry. I was the one who drove him to suicide. It's not your fault. So don't be sorry."

He seems a bit taken aback. "Okay. I just wanted to make sure you were okay."

"Yes." I say, breathing out. "He was a good friend, and I did care about him, but....he drifted away. It's not a big deal."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes." I think I convinced him. Not me. I stand and walk out of the living room and up the stairs to the laundry room. There, I let myself break. I lean against the dryer and slide to the floor, my shoulders shaking. Tears flow like waterfalls down my cheeks. I lay my head in between my knees and cry. I hear Mikey moving around downstairs. He thinks I'm okay. How can you be okay after something like that. You can't. The truth is, you can't.

I hear the doorbell ring and Frank's voice carries up the stairs. I sit in the laundry room and cry, for the rest of the day.