I'm in Love...with a Rockstar (MCR)

Chapter Twenty-Three: Keep Trying

I sit on the edge of the toilet, a small, white stick in my hand. The dial is moving. It passes the green and lands on the red 'x'. I groan and drop the stick, raising my hands to my head. I swallow, tears pricking my eyes.

"Pierce?" Mikey voice from outside the door. "Baby, you alright?"

I don't answer. I hang my head. The sixth 'x' this month. The one time we weren't trying and we got it. Now, when we actually want a child, we are having trouble. We didn't even use condemns the first time.

"Baby?" Mikey knocks on the door. "Honey, can I come in." Again, I don't answer. I pull up my jeans, flush the toilet and pick up the stick from the ground. I walk to it he door and stare at the door knob. I sigh. I twist the door knob and open the door. Tears fill my eyes and I throw my arms around Mikey's neck, lifting my legs up and wrapping them around his waist. "Oh...baby. Was it...?" I nod into his shoulder. "We'll get there." He turns around and walks to our room. He sets me down on the bed and then climbs in after me. I spread my legs out, laying my head on his shoulder, and I cry. He puts his arm around my shoulders and pulls me close to him.

"Why?" I sob.

"I don't know."

"The one time. The one time I don't want to have a baby and I do. The times I try to have a baby, I can't. Maybe I'm just not fertile anymore." I whisper, tears still running down my cheeks.

"No, no. Pierce." He combs through my hair with his finger tips. "We can do it. We just have to keep trying. We can do it."

"I don't know." I sniff.

The doorbell rings. Mikey climbs off the bed.

"I'll get it." He walks to the door, pulls it open and disappears. I slip under the sheets and pull them up to my chin. Why do I have such bad luck. Bad luck that I got pregnant when I didn't want to. And bad luck that I can't get pregnant when I do want to. I hear voices from the living room. Frank. I forgot he was coming this evening. I use the corner of the blanket to dry my face, but I know I can't hide the fact. The tears slip out even as I try to stop them. I flip over, so my face is facing away from the door. The door opens and closes. Footsteps approach the bed. Someone sits on the edge and begins to rub my back.

"I'm sorry, Pierce." Frank says, sorrow in his voice. I roll over, gazing into his eyes.

"How long did it take you and Jamia?"  I ask. I made him uncomfortable. I can see it in his eyes. "How many tries to have twins?"

"Once." He whispers, and the tears fall harder. "Some people, just can't."

"But I did. I did once."

"I know." I sit up and look at him, before throwing my arms around his neck. I bit down on my lip to keep more tears from falling. "Maybe you should get a check up."

"I don't know. I push away and wipe the tear tracks from my face, sniffling. "I don't want more bad news. I mean, I still have to be able to right? I had one, why not more?"

"I don't know, Pierce."

I stare at him, his cute little hair cut and his piercings. My gaze falls to his hands, tattooed. Halloween and Bookwormare tattooed onto his knuckles. My lips twitch, the beginnings of a smile. Mikey knocks on the door.

"Can I come in?"

"Yeah." I croak, putting my head in my hands. He walks over, sitting next to me, and beginning to rub my back.

"We should go to the hospital. You could get a check-up."

"I dunno." I murmur. "I just don't want more bad news."

"I know, I know." I look up at him.

"Okay."

"What?"

"I want to see why we can't have kids. Or what is stopping us."

"Really?"

"Really."

~Three Days Later~

I slip my hand into Mikey's as he locks the door and we walk out to the car. I swallow. I can do this. I want to find out why. I can do it. Mikey opens the passenger door for me and I step into the car. He shuts it and walks around to his side of the car, stepping int also. He turns the key in the ignition and backs the car out.

"Ready?" He asks, his hand on my thigh.

"Yeah." I gasp, beginning to tremble.

"If you don't want to, we don't have to." He says, backing the car out of the drive.

"No." I say. "I want to." But I can't stop shaking.

We drive to the hospital in silence and when we get there, I have to force the tears to stay back. I just don't want more bad news. I can't have bad news. My birthday is in a week. I can't have bad news. I swallow and step out of the car. I shut the door and turn to face the entrance to the hospital. I stand, frozen, staring up at the big sign. Manhattan Community Hospital. Mikey walks around the back of the car and grabs my hand.

"Are you sure you want to? I can cancel the appointment."

"No." I say, gripping his hand tightly. "No. I want to." And with that I begin to walk towards the door, Mikey by my side. The doors slide open and we walk inside. The woman is expecting us. She smiles at our approach.

"Hello, Mr. and Mrs. Way." She greets us. "If you will just follow me." She walks out from behind the counter and we follow her out the door. She leads us down a hallway, down a set of stairs, up two sets of stairs, and down another hallway. She stops in front of the door. She turns to Mikey. "If you do not want to be here at the moment, I can lead you back to the sitting room. He is going to do some...girl tests."

"No." I say, gripping his hand tighter. "He wants to be there." I glance at him. "Right?"

"Of course." He smiles. The nurse nods and pushes open the door.

I sit on the edge of the cold, metal bed, feeling...interesting. I have just been through more tests than I would like to talk about. My eyes are closed and I am sitting quietly, my hands in my lap. Mikey sits in the chair as we wait for the doctor to come back with the test. results. The door opens. My eyes stay shut. I can hear Mikey stand up and walk over to the doctor.

"So," He asks. "Can we...have kids?"

The doctor doesn't answer right away, which is the reason that I open my eyes. I look at him, waiting patiently for an answer.

"Yes."

I snap my head to look at Mikey. "Then why couldn't we..." I look back to the doctor.

"I can't tell. But, you still are able to. Just have to keep trying."

I smile, standing up and practically skipping over to Mikey. I loop my arm with his and grin at him. He is beaming back at me. We can have kids. We just have to keep trying.

Mikey leads me out of the room, down the hall, down the two stair cases, up the one, and down the hall to the exit. We walk out of the hospital, considerably happier than when we had walked in.We walk out to the car and the first thing I do, is turn on the radio. I flip stations until I find one I like and we jam out to the all the way to the house. I smile, and we both know, without talking, what we are going to do when we reach the house. We run into the house. I slip off my shoes and run to the bathroom. Quickly, I strip my jeans and my shirt, coming out of the bathroom in only my bra and panties. I scramble away from Mikey's out-stretched arms and dash into our room.

"Catch me if you can." I cry and shut the door. He runs into the kitchen, grabs any alcohol he can find and runs back to the room, opening the door and slipping inside. We don't emerge. the sounds from behind the door change from giggles to wanting moans. We are going to keep trying.