Just A Kid

4. I Need To Know

Julietta POV

"Hey we're back" Phil says appearing beside me on the porch "why are you hiding out here, you ok Jules"

"I will be" I sigh "can I talk to you for a moment"

"You know you can talk to big brother anytime" he smiles placing his arm around my shoulders "what's up?"

"I'm worried about Damian" I say "what happened to him since I lost saw him? Did someone hurt him?"

"First of all it's sweet that you care so much about him but remember he's a friend not your boyfriend" he says "and secondly I wish I could tell you, I don't know much. I mean there was a period of time he and I stopped speaking to each other. I've tried asking but he just clams up. We just have to hope he tells us when he's ready"

"Patience was never my strong suit" I chuckle as he kisses my temple "and I know he's a friend don't worry I'm not trying to steal him but I do care about him"

"Little sisters little crush never went away huh?" He teases as I wrap my arms around him

"I guess not" I chuckle "anyway we better go in before he wonders what's going on"

Heading back inside we find Damian in the kitchen un packing the things they had bought and putting the drinks on ice. For a moment he seems like the old Damian and the smile back.

"Hey I sorted the groceries, whose grilling?" He asks

"That would be me" Phil says grabbing the tray of food "last time you burnt everything"

"Now come on you distracted me and you know it" Damian whines "fine then I'll just make sure I get more drinks than you"

"Don't be getting too drunk I'm not helping either of you to bed" I smile

Damian walks around the kitchen counter towards me as I stand there nervously. He takes my hands in his and looks down at them sadly. I watch his face as he studies my hands running his thumbs over the back of them.

"Please talk to me D" I sigh "what happened to you?"

"If I told you you would look at me different and I don't want that" he sighs "I don't know that I want to talk about it"

"Alright I won't push you but if you ever want to.............."

"You'll be the first one I come to" he smiles and then out of nowhere he presses his lips softly against mine allowing the kiss to linger slightly before moving away and biting his lip "I.......I better go help Phil"

Before he can move I grab his arm and pull him back to me. He opens his mouth to speak but before he can I take his face in my hands and kiss him. To my relief he kisses me back pinning me between him and the wall.

I feel his hands begin to delicately travel up my body and then stop like he's hesitating.

"Touch me Cookie.......I want you to" I breath

"I can't..........I'm sorry nugget" he sighs "I'm confused, conflicted and I don't know what to do"

"Do you even realise how cruel this is?" I ask  "You give me hope then take it away, you kiss me then tell me to stay away. You're confusing the hell  out of me and it's not fair. Either you want me or you don't, it shouldn't be this hard. Tell Phil I've gone out and not to wait up for me"  I say heading for the front door

"Nugget wait......please........don't leave" he says "you shouldn't be going out alone at night it's not safe. Stay here, stay in your room if you don't want to be near me just please don't leave"

"I can't be here right now" I say tears filling my eyes "I just want you to be happy D, I want to see you smile like you used to but not at the expense of my feelings"

Damian POV

I watch Julietta leave and the door slam back into its frame and all I can do is hang my head.

I want her of course I do but there are so many reasons why I shouldn't. My baggage, bro code and not wanting to break the most precious heart this world has.

"Foods almost ready........where's Jules?" He asks

"She went out said not to wait up" I sigh

"But she said she was up for hanging out? What's gotten in to her? I mean besides being worried about you?" He says

"She's worried about me? Why?" I ask

"Because she cares about you you big goof" he says "like me she can see in someways you've changed and she wants to understand why we both do so we can help"

"I don't want to talk about it I've told you that" I sigh "it's sweet that she cares, I care about her too I just can dump this all on either of you"

"Bottling it up won't help you either" he says seriously "one way or another you are going to break and I know we both prefer you just talk then have a melt down. Think about it" he says heading back out to the grill

I know he's right that at some point I need to talk but I'm scared of how she will look at me once she knows.