Just A Kid

2. We Can't

Julietta POV

Laying on the lounger by the pool in my brothers back yard my gaze hidden behind dark shades is firmly fixed on the handsome man in the pool.

He had showed up here with my brother when he came home from being on the road. It had been a lot of years since I'd last seen him and we had both grown up a lot.

Gone was the skinny teenager that used to play hide and seek with me and would handle any bully that crossed my path. Gone was the mildy muscular young adult who used to tickle wrestle with me while my brother tried to do his course work.

That person was nowhere to be seen, he's been replaced with an older, much larger grown man, I had thought he was hot back then but man I had I vastly underestimated him.

Damian had been the object of my affection from a young age something I thought I'd grown out of but then he walked through the door and inside I was mush.

He had been quite shocked when he realised who I was, he said I had changed so much he hardly recognised me but it hadn't gone unnoticed the way his eyes had travelled up and down my body or how he'd tried to subtly lick his lips as he did so.

Then our eyes locked and the desire I had seen disappeared, his expression changed and he became awkward with me. From that point we had barely spoken and I could swear he was avoiding me.

Noticing my brother head inside I decide to take my chance. I slip off my sarong and slide into the pool moving slowly in his direction.

"Hey D" I smile as I approach him

"Oh uh hey Jules didn't hear you get in" he says moving back from me a little

"What's going on, you never used to be like this with me" I say "what's changed?"

"You've changed" he smiles nervously "it was unexpected"

"In a good way I hope" I smile closing the gap between us

"Jules don't" he says removing my hands from his chest

"I saw the way you looked at me when you got here don't tell me you don't want me" I whisper

"I do.......but I can't........" He stutters but I cut him off when my lips touch his, he kiss me briefly before pushing me back "this isn't right, you're my best friends sister......your just a kid"

"I'm not a kid anymore D I'm a grown ass woman" I say "A woman who knows what she wants......she's always known"

"Nugget you don't want me trust me, I'm no good for you" he says "you're young, you're beautiful you can have any man you want.......find yourself a good one"

Refusing to accept his words I try once again to kiss him. This time it takes him longer to resist and its because of the sound of my brothers voice causing him to jump six feet in the air and away from me.

Later that evening after dinner I excused myself to my room. Disappointed wasn't the word for it...hurt definitely but also curious as to what had made him think so low of himself.

He always used to be so confident and happy and always had a girlfriend. But now something had changed, something or someone had made him feel unworthy.

I wanted more than anything to change that, to be the one who put him back together again and make him happy like he used to be.

Footsteps out in the hall come to a stop outside my room and then I hear the door opposite open but not totally close.

Quietly I walk across the hall and gently push the door open. I find him sat on the bed with his head in his hands. I rush to him crouching in front of him and placing my hands on his arms.

"Talk to me D. What's wrong?" I ask

"For some reason when I came here I was expecting the freckle faced little girl I used to know" he sighs " it just didn't occur to me that you would have grown up. I shouldn't be attracted to you. You're his kid sister it should be weird but I am and it's not and I'm confused"

"I've got to admit I was expecting the midly muscular young adult I used tickle wrestle with" I chuckle "you spurised the hell out of me too, but I've always liked you D, I've always wanted you and you were always good enough to me"

"That's because you didn't know any better" he chuckles "and that was before.........well before everything"

Standing I place my hand on his hair and he wraps his arms around me resting his head on my stomach taking me by surprise. I hold him not sure what else he needs from me but then he looks up at me as his hands glide over my hips squeezing them gently.

The next thing I feel is him pulling me down on to his lap and I'm more than willing to let him. Now it's me that's nervous, but in a good way.

He cups my cheek looking deep into my eyes before bringing my face to meet his. He kisses me so delicately I almost can't feel it. His arms wrap tightly around me  pulling us so close together we are almost one.

One of his hands travels up to the back of my neck and then it happens, slowly as a gentle breeze he stands lifting me and lays me on the cool sheets of his bed his lips never leaving mine.

His lips move along my jaw line and down my neck. In response I curl my fingers under the hem of his t shirt and then he stops. He buries his face into the crook of my neck and sighs.

"I can't.......this is wrong.......we shouldn't" he says "what are you doing to me Nugget"

"I don't know but it didn't feel wrong to me" I say stroking his hair

"You should go before your brother comes upstairs" he says sitting up but I just shake my head

"No, I'm right where I want to be" I say "I don't want to leave you and I don't think you really want that either"

"You have to" he sighs "you have to stay away from me........I don't want to hurt you........please Nugget"

Once again I find myself hurting at his words, reluctantly I remove myself from his bed and head towards the door. I take one last glance at him and he has returned to how I found him.

Something tells me this isn't over and it will happen again.