Isn't it confusing, what first love does to a man?
Story where Alexine is Soldier Boy's first love and rekindle after many years apart.
[UNGOING]
[Warnings; smut, angst, torture, mention of torture, trauma, physical abuse, mental abuse, verbal abuse...
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Alexine lay on her side, her body bare, vulnerable beneath the dim light filtering into the room. Her brown eyes were fixed on Benjamin's face, tracing the familiar lines of his jaw, his lips, the intensity in his green eyes. He stared back at her, his expression unreadable, though the weight of their shared silence was enough to make the air between them feel suffocating.
What had just happened... it was a mistake. They both knew it.
Benjamin shifted slightly, his muscles tense beneath his skin, as if even his body was uncomfortable with the truth. He hadn't set out to hurt her, hadn't planned to tangle them in this mess of emotions. But somehow, it happened—because that's who he was.
He never thought beyond his own needs, always acting impulsively, selfishly, dragging others into the aftermath. He'd convinced himself Alexine wouldn't care, that she'd always be there, loyal to him like she always had been. Even now, with her cold distance, she remained tethered to him. And he'd taken advantage of that.
"I'm going to leave you," Alexine's voice cut through the silence like a blade.
Her words were calm, decisive, but they carried the weight of something final, something she had been holding back for too long. The last time she'd left, it had been for twenty years. She had promised she wouldn't do it again, had sworn they could make it work this time, but now, as she lay there beside him, her heart too battered to feel anything but exhaustion, she knew she couldn't stay. Not anymore.
Benjamin exhaled shakily, feeling something inside him crack, but he knew better than to show it. His world wouldn't collapse if she walked out the door, but his heart... his heart might. They had been trying to revive something long dead, trying to breathe life into the ashes of their past. But all they had done was scorch each other, leaving scars that would never fully heal.
"I didn't lie when I said you were the first woman I ever loved," he said quietly, the admission slipping past his lips before he could stop it.
Alexine's eyes welled up, but she refused to cry. She'd shed too many tears for him already, wasted too much of herself on this broken man. Her chest tightened at his words, but still, she wouldn't let them sway her.
"I know..." she whispered, her voice barely audible.
He swallowed hard, searching her face for something—anything—that might tell him she would reconsider, that she wouldn't really leave. "Will you call?" His voice cracked with a pathetic hopefulness that he instantly regretted.
"No," she replied simply, her tone firm, final.
Benjamin felt his throat tighten, his eyes starting to burn as the reality of it hit him. This was the end. He had pushed her too far, and now there was no coming back from it. He had no one to blame but himself, and as much as he wanted to fight it, he knew it was over. He had lost her. Again.
