The King's Shield

Chapter 34- The Surrender

After dinner, everyone was ready to retire to their rooms. But Adhiveer was anxious. She was acting as if nothing had happened. For a moment he thought that it was all in his head. Whatever had happened in the store room was his imagination, or what he did might have upset her.

He cornered her near the kitchen.
" I am sorry," he said." I don't know what got over me." I didn't mean to force you... I didn't... I wanted to..." He sighed. " You don't have to sleep upstairs. I won't force you in any way," he said. Her eyes widened and she stared at him. She opened her mouth and closed it again. She did not respond.

Disheartened, he decided to leave the topic. " Have a pleasant sleep," he said and climbed upstairs to the room.

He was waiting for her in the room with a sliver of hope that she might come. His emotions had overpowered him, and he wished he had controlled his actions in the store room. He didn't know what had gotten over him. The raw and primal emotion of getting close to her had taken over him due to her proximity.

He sat on the bed, wondering what she thought of him. Was he harsh on her? Did she push him away? He tried to recollect the moment, trying to grasp the fragments of the exchange. It was all a haze, he couldn't think straight.

Then he heard a knock on the door. His heartbeat quickened and he called to come in. She entered and closed the door behind her. She was holding a blanket in one hand and a pitcher of water in the other.

He got up and went to her, took the pitcher from her hand, walked towards a table near the window and placed it there. He leaned on his hands on the table and didn't turn around to look at her. He couldn't say anything. What would he even say? He couldn't face her, so he waited for her to speak. The room felt too small and closed. She'd got a blanket with her, was she going to sleep here?

He noticed in his peripheral vision that she walked towards the bed and placed the blanket on it. She was going to sleep here, and he felt a little relief. He wanted her to be with him of her own volition, not to be under any pressure. He turned and walked to her.

" You don't have to be here if you don't want to." He said.

She stared at him." You don't have to tell me-" she didn't complete her sentence. She stood for a while staring at him; he didn't know what to say or do, so he stared back at her. Then she sighed and started undressing. He averted his gaze and turned to look the other way. What was she doing?

" Please sleep," she said.

When he turned he saw that she had changed in her underdress and was in bed. She looked like she was waiting for him. But her eyes showed anger and disappointment. He was confused.

" Why are you here?" he asked.

" You don't want me here?" She furrowed her brows.

"That is not what I meant," he said.
" What I am saying is, you don't have to be if you don't want to."

She scoffed, got up from the bed, collected her clothes and started towards the door.

" Where are you going?" He was confused.

" You just said that you don't want me here..." She huffed.

" When did I say that?" He walked towards her. " I am asking you ... Do you want to be here?"

" Do you want me to be here?" She asked looking straight into his eyes.

" It doesn't matter," he had begun to get impatient.

" But it does, do you want me to stay here or not?" She said, furrowing her brows.

" It doesn't matter what I want," he sighed," I want to know what you want, whether you want to be here with me. Because it seems like you don't."