STRINGS // KATSUKI BAKUGO [2]

Chapter 50 // Persistence

When Bakugo dropped you off at Aizawa's before returning to his house on foot, you didn't sleep despite the hour.

There was this annoying, nagging voice in the back of your head keeping you awake, preventing you from sleeping and dreaming away all of your problems.
 
You sure are pathetic.

"Shut up..." you mumbled aloud, staring ahead at the bare wall across from your bed.

Seriously, you are. I mean, you've spent your whole career trying to take down Shigaraki, and now you're just going to fade away in a bed that's not even yours. You're letting them win.

"What am I gonna do?" you wondered aloud. "I'm dying. My body is getting weaker. All I've been doing is prolonging the inevitable."

How about you try doing something productive instead of lying around all the time? All you do is sit on the damn couch and watch TV. There's a gym right down the hall.

"I'm not as strong as I used to be," you stated.

But you can be. You should be. You said you'd be the one to kill Shigaraki. You can't do that if you're weak. You don't need memories to defeat him. All you need to strength, power.

"Even if I work out," you began, "even if I get my old body back, my strength back, my condition is still destroying me from the inside out. I can't stop that."

You can if you have a power that heals you, one a runway hero student has.

"No," you immediately replied.

One For All almost killed you the first time you used it. It damaged your memories of Midoriya. If you were to use it again, sure, it'd heal your body for the duration of a fight. However, when the time came where it needed to leave your body, it'd most likely kill you completely. You didn't want to speed up the process.

"I can't," you said aloud. "I'll die."

You're dying anyway. You'll die fighting. You'll die killing Shigaraki. Isn't that what you've always wanted?

You contemplated the idea, weighing the pros and cons, thinking about the potential consequences.

You knew that someone would be the one to defeat Shigaraki if you didn't. He'd get his karma. However, after all the pain and suffering he has put you through, it'd be almost bittersweet if you were to die without being the one to end his schemes.

You were never going to have a normal life, not as a hero course student. For the last year, no matter how hard you tried to retain your innocence, your mentality has been corrupted by Tomura Shigaraki. Your body has been used and destroyed. Your family has been ruined.

You didn't want to die in bed, pass in your sleep. You didn't want to waste the rest of your limited days. You didn't want to give up.

Even if it killed you, you'd defeat Shigaraki. Even if it meant using someone else's power, you'd defeat Shigaraki. Even if it meant breaking hearts, you'd kill Shigaraki. You deserved to be selfish for once.

However, you weren't going to do this in secret. You were tried of hiding. You wanted those around you to know your desires, to be aware of how you wanted to spend the remainder of your life, and you'd start with Aizawa.

You pushed off the blankets enveloping your body and quietly stood, making your way out of your room and down the hall to Aizawa's room, which you barely remembered the location of.

You pushed open the bedroom door to find Aizawa sound asleep, typical black patch covering his empty eye socket as his prosthetic leg laid atop the covers pushed to a mound at the end of his bed.

You walked over to stand beside the sleeping hero before reaching out and gently touching his shoulder.

A shake wasn't even necessary to wake him. The physical contact was enough to get him shooting up into a sitting position. However, his nerves calmed when he realized it was you.

"[L/N]," he exhaled, running a hand through his inky black hair as he shifted to sit with his legs hanging off the edge of the mattress, "what's wrong?"

"Nothing," you shook your head. "I just wanna talk."

Aizawa glanced at the clock sitting on his nightstand, saying, "it's two o'clock in the morning. What could you possibly need to talk about right now?"

You silently sat down beside the hero as you proceeded to fiddle with your fingers, hands coming up to rest in your lap.

"I don't want to keep sitting around doing nothing," you stated, and Aizawa immediately sighed, already knowing where this conversation was heading.

"[L/N]—"

"Just let me talk," you interrupted, "please."

Aizawa silenced himself shortly after your request, letting out a tired sigh but remaining quiet in order for you to continue.

"I don't want to waste the rest of my days," you explained. "I want to make the most of the time I have left. I want to be as normal as I can. I want to train again, be a hero. I want to be there when this war resumes. I want to be the one to take down Shigaraki, and don't try to change my mind. This is what I want, what I deserve."

Aizawa exhaled deeply, fingers rubbing his tired eyes. You thought he was about to argue, but, instead, he placed a hand upon your head, a finger brushing across your hairline, as he said, "such a problem child," with a soft smile decorating his face.

"'Till the end," you replied, managing a small smile.

Aizawa straightened his posture, saying, "you can train, but not overwork yourself, and you can be involved in planning strategies for the war, but you will do it from this house. Anything you do will continue to be supervised. That's my compromise, okay?"

"Deal," you nodded.

You knew deep down Aizawa wanted to argue. He wanted to convince you otherwise. However, you also knew that he knew better by now than to try and fight your desires. You were a persistent and stubborn person, something he's come to learn and accept.

"Now, get back to bed," Aizawa said, returning to his previous position lying down. "You need your sleep."

You glanced at the door, reluctant to return to your bare, lonely room where you were sure that nagging voice would return.

"Can I stay here for the night?" you asked, averting your attention back to Aizawa, who had already closed his eyes to resume his sleep.

A small, almost inaudible hum from Aizawa was enough to get you crawling beneath the covers beside the man.

You pulled the sheets up to your neck and rested your head on Aizawa's splayed out left arm, choosing to use it as a pillow rather than steal one of the cushions from beneath the hero's head.

You bathed in the silence and familiarity, some part of you wishing you wouldn't wake up from the upcoming sleep.

You knew that wouldn't happen though. You were too persistent. You still had some work to do.

[EDITED]