Goodbye Jude

I Just Want It To Be Over

Nick's POV:

Death. Sometimes it sounds like a good thing while other times it doesn't. The bad thing about it is that it causes everyone around you to feel the pain that you felt before it happened. I wish I knew that before I did the things I did that made me end up here in the hospital.

" Hi.." is the first thing I heard that made me come back to reality. The next thing I know I saw Jude and Connor walk up to me bed. " O... it's you" is all I could say because I was still mad at them for what happened at school. " I know you probably don't want us here.... But we came anyways" said Connor in his caring yet sad voice. " Thanks for coming" is all I could say before I wanted to start crying. " We just wanted to let you know that even if you probably don't believe us that we didn't tell anyone at school about you.... Because to be honest, if we were in your shoes we wouldn't want anyone to tell people about us" said Jude as he started to walk away. " Wait" is all I could say before I had to stop and think about what to say next. As they turn to look at me I took a death breath before I continued by saying " I believe you.. and can I talk to Connor alone for a second" I said looking down to try and stop myself from crying. " Ok" said Jude as he left the room leaving Connor alone standing by the side of my bed.

As Jude left the room I looked up to see Connor standing by the side of my bed giving me all of his attention before I could speak again I took a few calm breaths.

" I know I told you this already but I really am sorry for everything I've done to you. I know you must of felt like crap because to be honest that's how I feel right now. You probably felt like there was nothing you could do to get away from the pain you felt. Having people laugh at you as you walk past them in the hallways calling you names like, fag, gay boy, and wrong in the head. Being told that you should die and believing them when they tell you that. I can't believe I made you feel like that and if I could take it back I promise you I would... I just wanted to say that I'm really really sorry" is all I could say before I looked down at my feet and started to cry. " I know" is all he said as I looked up and into his eyes that said that they really do believe you and care about you. Before I could do anything else I cried into his shoulder while I kept telling him that I was really sorry. As I kept on crying he kept patting my back and telling me that everything was going to be ok. " I just want it to be over" is the last thing that I cried into his shoulder before I stopped crying and just laid there. That's when I knew that everything was going to be ok...... Or was it???