The Gamer's Guide to Romance || •PJM• ✔️

Jimin Being Self-Conscious... As Always

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Jimin

Fuck.

Jimin felt like shit. Ever since Y/n and him had gotten closer, he felt like an asshole for not taking her out enough, for not talking to her more, for not giving her more affection—why hadn't he taken better care of her? Was he that bad at relationships? This self-doubt didn't stem from anything Y/n did. If anything, she had been perfect. He didn't deserve her. His self-doubt and past experiences proved he wasn't ready for her. She deserved someone sure of himself. Someone who wasn't scared to keep taking her on dates and kissing her.

Yet there he was, banging his head against the wall and groaning as he questioned his life decisions. For some reason, he didn't have the courage to ask her to be his girlfriend. Yes, he wanted that more than anything, but he was terrified. What if he wasn't good enough? What if he fucked up while asking her out? What if he fucked up in general? Relationships were supposed to be something celebrated with the person you love, but he couldn't help but pace back and forth, hurt his poor head, and bite on his nails as he contemplated what to do.

However, he was interrupted by a beep from his phone. It rested on the nightstand, and he moved away from his wall to instead snatch his phone and plop down in bed. The text was from Markiplier, surprisingly. As much as Mark and Jimin were friends, they both were awkward texters, so they opted to voice call and talk that way instead. However, when he saw Mark sent him a news report, that piqued his interest, and he decided to answer right away.

Unfortunately, it wasn't a pleasant text.

One of the scariest parts about the internet was, well, the people. You never knew what type of weirdos were out there, waiting to do harm. That was why the news report Mark sent was so terrifying: it was an article about Y/n and Jimin. And not just any article, no, that'd be too easy—it featured leaked photos of them.

Leaked photos of them at the restaurant were present in the article, and rumors about them dating took hold. It wasn't as serious for YouTubers to get into relationships as it was for other celebrities, where the para-social relationships fans formed with said celebrities would result in stalking, hate, and sometimes worse; however, that didn't mean it was A-okay when YouTubers did it. Some, like Jimin, had an entire fanbase that found him hot. They had known him as the hot, single YouTuber with a shit ton of money. If they thought he was off-the-market, it'd become chaos.

Yes, he was off-the-market, but with his conflicting feelings toward himself, he didn't need those rumors spreading. Not until he was ready to announce he had a girlfriend. Well, he had to secure a girlfriend first, but that couldn't happen until he asked Y/n out.

Jimin thanked Mark for the information before going to Y/n's dms. She texted first, asking if he saw the rumors spreading and how someone had taken photos of them in the restaurant and also leaving the restaurant together. As soon as he answered yes, she called him, and he picked up.

"Hey," he said, and she sighed.

"We can't even go to dinner in peace, can we?"

That was his fault. Y/n had a tame, calm fandom. She made low-key videos, and that didn't mean she didn't have her fair share of crazies, but it did mean she had a calmer overall fandom, and she herself would agree. Jimin, on the other hand, had psychos. Some had sent food to his house before, others had stalked him, and some went as far as to marry cardboard cut-outs of him and claim they were together forever. It was safe to say the internet was fucking insane.

"No, we can't. I'm sorry about that. That's my fans being crazy, but I'll tell them to leave you alone."

"It's not your fault, and don't say anything. Addressing the photos just encourages people to take more, right? Don't acknowledge it. Let's keep our heads down for a bit."

"But I want to go on more dates," he mumbled, and she laughed.

"We can go on more dates, goofball. But let's start small and sleep together tonight, okay?"

He smirked. "Shit, that soon? Alright, I'm on my way-"

"Park Jimin!"

He flopped down on his bed with a bunch of squeaky sounds coming out of his mouth as he giggled like a maniac. He probably sounded high, but he didn't care. There was something about how Y/n scolded him that made him burst into a fit of laughter he couldn't stop once it started, not that he wanted it to. The laughter he let out around her was unlike the kind he let out around any others. He wished he could memorize it and keep it forever.

"Why do I like you?" she asked with a sigh, and he had a toothy grin on his face despite how she couldn't see it.

"Big dick, nice ass, tragic past."

"Jimin!" She grunted at his words, and then, she paused and added more. "Tragic past? Since when?"

It was Jimin's turn to grunt. "I grew up in California."

"Oh, yeah, that's fair."

The two giggled and then dialed down for the night, Jimin shifting in bed to have the phone next to him while he shut his eyes. He had grown accustomed to having her voice with him as he tried to sleep. There was something about it that had him passing out in seconds. If she wasn't there on call, he'd put on one of her videos. No, that wasn't creepy. Her videos were intended for sleeping, so he was using them for their desired purpose, not in a weird way.

"Don't worry about the rumors, okay, Mimi?" Y/n mumbled, yawning afterwards.

He smiled and traced his finger up and down the side of his phone case. "I won't as long as you don't. Now shh, get some sleep. I'll be here when you wake up. Goodnight."

He heard yet another yawn, and he could also hear her rubbing her eyes. It had him keeping his smile even as he shut his eyes to succumb to the darkness. What solidified his fate was when Y/n chuckled and spoke.

"Goodnight."

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