All or Nothing

Worst Christmas??

Midnight.

Jeongin walks away from Chan without a word.
"Jeongin, wait." As soon as he touches the younger's hand he gets slapped across the face.

Hard.

It was dark so it was hard to see the redness on the older's cheek but it was there. Stinging.

"Y-you deserve tha-at.."
"I know I do. I'll let you hit me-"
Jeongin slaps him again on the other cheek.

"Jeon-" The younger kept slapping him over and over as tears fell from his eyes, blurring his vision. Soon the hits became sloppy and the tears get heavy.

Chan wraps his arms around him and pats his head as Jeongin wets his clothes with tears. Once the younger had calmed himself Chan cups his face and wipes the tears away.

"I missed you a lot." Their faces get closer then Jeongin snaps back into reality and pushes the older away.

"No. I-I c-can't..I ha-have to g-go.", he walks off.
"You wanted an explanation right?"
"...t-to-tomorrow."

It was past midnight but the older knew what he meant. Jeongin went back home feeling embarrassed of his stuttering. He had been away from Chan too long which is why it happened in the first place. The rest of the night he lies awake in bed thinking about him, never going to sleep. In the morning, Christmas Day, Jeongin stays in bed not feeling the holiday spirit at all. Beomgyu had texted him a merry Christmas but he doesn't reply back. He covers his whole body under the covers and wished that the day was over.

"Jeongin?", Felix opens the door. "Are you up?"
"I wish I wasn't..", he mumbled.
"What's wrong?" The blonde enters and sits down on the bed.

"I saw him. Chan."
"You did?"

"I went for a walk then there he was. Just showed up out nowhere like he knew where I was. Maybe it was a coincidence. Doesn't matter. It felt so warm in his arms..so familiar. I missed that. But it's wrong for me to think such things."

"Why? Your boyfriend?"
"Mm."
"So you're gonna stay in here all day?"

"I don't feel like leaving. I'll just bring down the whole Christmas spirit thing."
"What about Chan?"

"Uhnnnngghnn..", the younger groaned.
"Ok. You can stay here if you want to. I'll tell the others not to worry."

Felix leaves his room and went downstairs. Jeongin reaches for his pill bottle on the nightstand with a shaky hand. After taking his medicine his phone rings and he saw that Beomgyu was calling.

"I'm sorry, Gyu.", he turns his phone off. Feeling tired, he goes to sleep for a nap.

Two hours later. He gets a visit by none other than the man he couldn't stop thinking about. While still sleeping the older sits by him then gently strokes his Jeongin's cheek.

"I still love you so much." He leans in to peck his lips then backs away.

Soon Jeongin wakes up to Chan sitting in front of him then he widen his eyes in shock.
"Gasp! C-ch-Chan?!"

"Hi, Jeongin...again."
"Wha- wh-why are you h-here.?", he panics. "I- who let y-you in here? Was it Seungmin?"

Chan reaches to grab his shaky hands but the younger doesn't let him.
"Jeongin, let me-"

"No! I-I-I can't..", he scoots away from him. The older moves closer despite Jeongin's persistence to stay away. He was finally able to take a hold of his hand and cup his face with the other.

"Jeongin, look at me. Look at me."

The younger had no choice but to make eye contact. Slowly but surely his shakiness dies down and so does his breathing. After a moment their lips connected and they kissed longingly, missing the other's touch. A while after making out Jeongin wraps his arms around the older, hugging him tight. Chan does the same.

"Feeling better?", Chan noticed he had stop shaking.
"..yes."

"I have a lot to say to you and hope you'll listen to every word."
"Ok. I didn't read the note though."

"I know. I'll tell you what it said in person. You deserve it."

Downstairs in the kitchen Jisung, Felix and Seungmin sit at the table while the twins play with their presents, Minho and Hyunjin on the couch watching.

"It's been a while. Should we go up there?", Jisung asks.
"I'm sure they're just talking. Give them time.", told Felix.

"It's been an hour."
"Do you think it was a good idea?", Seungmin asks.

"Depends..how it will..turn...out?", Jisung shrugged.
"Great help.", he said sarcastically.

"Don't worry, Seungmin. It won't be your fault.", the blonde assured.

As Seungmin worries Jeongin and Chan sit in quietness, the older having finished explaining everything. Jeongin opens his journal to the next blank page and begins writing his thoughts but the older snatches the book away from him.

"Just tell me what you're thinking, Jeongin."
"I was gonna let you read it when I was finished."

"Say it to my face. That's what I did with you."
"It's...different.", he turns his head away.
"Why?"

"So many things I want to tell you I...just don't know how." Chan sighs and hands him back the journal then the younger gets to writing.