Healed

Yuh serious

Sipping on my cranwata and a-look pon the busy area a ppl , some look happy , some look sad and some look confused. Only to see a hand flash in front a me eye , ppl a zone me zone out ano, left earth and gone . Turning my head to see my boss and such man a look pon me concerned not even did memba dem a swear. Stress and problems ano good something ano. At my age high blood pressure nah go look good pon me so me affi try stay focus. Such man touch me shoulder me need fi remember him name . Anyways he was telling me that we need to view some property and talk over lunch and since I won't be in office he needed my number to let me know the details, then the boss could not give  him me digits. Anyways we wrap it up and me ready fi zone out. Take two pills, an edible or bun a spliff and lef me problems dem . As I walked back to my car no the wicked rass of a mother and me bumbo ole of a ex deh chat. So me car door tun meet and greet area , why dem no go bout them ways and leave me alone .

As I approached the car on the driver side me hear me ex: so him you did a cheat pon me wid mek you quick fi lef?
One thing bout man dem never see the wrong weh dem do yet, and me tried of talking me mouth  want to rest along with me body. So you mean fi tell me I should have stayed and play house with a baby made on me , a child that is going to be constant reminder that I lost mine. I looked up slowly and smile and reply with: a  12 inch him have and it thick with it , plus it mek me loose, no walls front feel tight and gripping. Looking at their shocked face I went in my car lock my door and put my AC on waiting for my phone to connect, as it connected I started playing Tommy Lee spartan solider and turn that up and head home. While driving and singing I started thinking I need to move and not let anyone knowmwhere I lived. Family and man a wicked uno hear me. Wicked something them. Reach home lock me door put the sofa behind it because when man ready fi mad out ano normal thing . Everything else grill up and then the flashback of the words of my mother and the feeling of just wanting to be loved had me curled up like a ball and tears pools on the ground while I let it sucked away my pain. I cried for hours as memories played out from me just wanting someone to love me but always put last, nobody celebrating any of my achievements just me and God one. I cried even harder when I remembered that cursed God I started begging with scriptures in the bible to heal my heart. I was on the floor saying stuff like father you said 99 is not enough so the shepherd went looking back for his lost sheep I am the sheep father your child is broken in pieces that could hardly find the correct pieces but you said the potter wants to build me back together again. Take the pain away . Help me Father God , Help take it away, teach me love me and crave for it else where . I got up still crying and begging God to help me as I lay in bed clothes still on and pull the covers over and for the first time in life I slept peacefully without memories.