The End is Only the Beginning

Chapter 9-Realization

TRIGGER WARNING: MAJOR self harm refrences, suicidal thoughts, and a break down.

When I woke up it was only seven and I was really tired from waking up in the middle of the night. All I could remeber was having a nightmare about Ponyboy. I could still hear his hysterical laugh in my head and it scared me. I sat up, when someone pulled back the curtains. I looked over and saw it was Pony. I could tell he had just taken a shower because his hair was soaking wet, and he had a towel wrapped around his waist. He also had a towel that was draped over his right arm, probably for his hair. When I saw him without a shirt on, I instantly started to blush but I hid it pretty well when I pretended to yawn.

He smiled at me and sat next to me, "Good morning Sunshine. How did you sleep?"

I smiled back and replied, "I slept wonderfully. How did you sleep?"

"I slept wonderfully as well. Darry is gone for today for work, but he said he doesn't want us to go to the hospital alone. So what should we do all day?" He asked, as he moved his hand slightly closer to mine.

I moved my hand closer to his as well, "We could go to the library, or maybe go to the lot?"

Ponyboy finally put his hand on mine and started to blush,"Let's go to the lot, we haven't been there in a while."

"Ok perfect, I just have to shower and change into normal clothes," I told him as I got up.

"Ok Ill go make breakfast," He got up and walked to the kitchen.

I grabbed my bag that had all my clothes in it and brought it into the bathroom with me. I grabbed my green, black tank top, and green and gray flannel. This was always my go-to outfit. I always wore a flannel and shorts, even if it was raining. I've always liked the rain, I don't really know why I just find it really relaxing. After I took my shower I dried my hair off a bit with my towel, and put it into two french braids. Then I put my clothes on, brushed my teeth and put my shoes on. I had white converse, I have always gone with white converse. I have pretty much always had the same style with clothes through-out my life.

I walked out of the bathroom into the kitchen, "You made eggs!" I went to the cupboard to grab plates and forks for us. Then he put the eggs on the plates. He looked at me and his eyes were glistening, "You look amazing... I mean it."

I started to blush, "Thank you, so do you."

"It's gonna be hot today, you probably don't need your flannel." He said as he flipped the eggs.

My mind started to rush trying to find an excuse, "Um... well I'll bring it just in case." I tried to change the subject quickly. The last person that I wanted to know was Ponyboy.

"Are you sure? It's gonna be almost 90 degrees," He looked at me and then moved the eggs around.

I nodded quickly, "I'm sure, if I get hot I will just take it off." I lied again. I din't care if it was a thousand degrees outside, this jacket was not coming off. I hated lying to Ponyboy but he couldn't know.

While he started to put the eggs on the plates I packed some stuff into my bag. I had a green tote bag (green was my favorite color) that I brought everywhere with me. It was big enough to carry everything I needed like my cigarettes, books, hairbrush, switchblade, lighter, and bandages. But it wasn't to big where it was impractical. I put a new pack of cancer sticks in my bag because I was about to run out. I rarely smoked but I smoked enough where I needed a new pack about every other month. I didn't like to smoke much but it calmed me down a lot and I liked the feeling sometimes, it also helped so that I didn't cut as much.

After we ate we started to walk to the lot. When we got to the lot we sat down in the broken car. A few years back there was a missing persons case and they had left their car here. But because they were a Greaser the police didn't care that much and let the case go after three days. About a week later a little girl, around 7 years old, found the body floating a river that ran down by the train tracks. That was always the thing I was scared about being a Greasers for. The police didn't care about the Greasers because we were known for starting riots and fights. But the Soc's did the same things, the police just liked them more because of their charm and money. I could have been a Soc, I had the money and lived kind of in the middle, between the East and South side. In fact most of my school are Socs so if I hadn't met Pony I would probably have been a Soc.