The End is Only the Beginning

Chapter 11-Her Secret

Hey so this is the last chapter of this book!!!! I just want to thank all of you for being here on this journey with me. I am not certain but I think I might make a book that explains Graces older sister, Maria. However I hope you have a wonderful day. -Stay Gold.

TRIGGER WARNINGS: Self harm

(2 years later)

The music was already playing as we walked into the gym. I had only been to Ponyboy's school once and it was a lot nicer than mine. Instead of the lockers being outside they were inside the halls. And there was no graffiti in the girls bathroom. The lights were blue and white, because it was the winter formal. In the middle of the gym there was a good sized dance floor and off to the sides were a few games. Then near the door were a few tables that had the classic red punch and different types of food. I was wearing a sage green dress that went down to the floor and had a ton of lace on the top, almost to much. Ponyboy was wearing a suit and he had his hair all greased back, he looked so good. I had been so excited for the Winter Formal with him, and Sodapop had even helped me do my hair. It was pulled into twists at the sides and connected at the back, then coming down from the twists were small braids. He had also put really small little white flowers in my hair and it complemented the dress really well. For some reason he was extremely good at doing hair. A few hours after the dance had started, they played "Wonderful Girl" by Dion and the Belmonts.

"May I have this dance?" Pony asked, imitating a British accent.

"Of course good sir," I replied, trying my best to do a thick British accent.

He put his hands on my hips and I put mine on his shoulders. We started to sway side to side, my head soon found it's spot, resting on his shoulder.

"I love you so much," I whispered in his ear as the song started to come to an end.

"I love you more," Ponyboy said as e grabbed both of my hands. The song ended and we went outside the gym. It was really dark outside except for the light that was pouring out of the gym windows. There were a lot of people outside talking, some making out, but behind the trees there was an empty bench. Nobody really knew that it was there. The freshmen were to busy trying to stay alive, and the Seniors just didn't care. The only reason I knew it was there was because I had skipped class one time to hang out with Pony. Darry didn't know that though. Pony held my hand and we walked over to the bench. We sat down and leaned back to watch the stars.

"Man... the stars are amazing," I said as I grabbed Ponyboy's hand.

"Yeah...what's that?" He asked my as he felt the fresh bumps on my wrist. Shit! I had forgotten to wear bandages.

"Oh it's nothing... I just got a little cut up. That's all," I pulled my hand away quickly and put it in my lap.

"Grace, I know every inch of your body. What is on your wrist?" He turned to me and saw the look in my eyes. I was like a deer in a headlight. The only person that had known I was doing that was Darry. And he swore he would never tell anyone, he kept that promise. But it didn't matter now, this time it was my fault.

I stood up, "It's nothing! I swear," I felt the tears well up inside of me, I was about to break. Ponyboy grabbed me into a hug, he didn't let go. I broke down falling onto my knees, bring Pony down with me. I had to let it out, I had been going through this for too long. I started sobbing as I held my wrist. I felt Ponyboy hold onto me and rub my back. I knew I messed up, I didn't mean to but I just couldn't help it. It was my only way to feel something, I hadn't felt something in so long. As I cried I felt the walls around me come crashing down. I had spent so long trying to get people to not worry about me, and it worked for so long. But the walls finally crashed down on me. Someone finally knew the pain I was going through. I wouldn't even call it pain, because I hadn't even felt anything.

"Gracie, why? Why would you do this to yourself?" Pony asked as he hugged me.

"Please don't be mad... I didn't tell you because I didn't want you to feel guilty," I explained ignoring his question in between sobs.

"Gracie don't you ever think I'll be mad at you for something like this! I promise, we are going to help you," He hugged me tight and picked me up bridal style . I was still crying so there was no way for me to walk home.

After a few minutes we reached Ponyboy's house and he carried me nobody was home yet and I was glad. I didn't want anyone in the gang to see me like this, it was bad enough that Ponyboy had to see me like this.

He sat me on the couch, "Why don't you shower? I'll make some food." I nodded and went into the bathroom. I carefully took off my dress so that I didn't accidentally reopen my cuts. I felt so bad, I had promised Darry I would stop and here I was doing the exact opposite. He was gonna be mad, real mad. I was scared that he would yell at me or maybe even hate em. I showered and put on a pair of really comfortable pajamas. I went into Ponyboy's room and laid the dress out on a chair. A few minutes later he brought in a sand which and sat with me on the bed. We ate in silence and I cried a bit more, but he held me the entire time. I later fell asleep with my head resting on his lap and him playing with my hair. At one point in the night I latched onto Ponyboy's wrist, for comfort. But when I heard the small yelp of pain escape fro his lips, I knew that maybe we weren't so different.

The next morning was spent in the living room with a lot of tears and hugs. Most of the hugs from Ponyboy and Sodapop. I got all my blades taken away from me, even my switch. And I'm glad, because I would have continued to cut if I didn't them taken away. It took me a few more months but I finally started to feel happy, and my scars became very faint. About 2 years later I got my switch back and I never cut again. Even though I am happy now and I haven't cut in a really long time the thought always lingers in the back of my mind. 'What if I just cut one more time' it's always an option... who knows I might just cut again. The end is only the beginning...