peridot | photobook

𝓲 𝓽𝓻𝓲𝓮𝓭

-the year before peridot takes place-
(play the song, if you'd like)

*i realised the song link was disabled, it's fixed now, i hope*

lando pov.

i couldn't sleep.

i'd just got back from a triple header race month and loraine had come over for the night. i'd planned a lazy day, with a tentative set of rounds of golf with max later this week. it had been a tight year, and oscar was head to head with me. to say the season had been stressful would be an understatement, but to be fair that is also what made being on the track more fun.

and perhaps having loraine around made it seem less bad than it really was. i don't think i'd have survived this alone. i'd given up too much this year already and the regrets had begun to settle in. i'd barely spent any time outside of the mtc while in the uk. i hadn't seen my family, i hadn't seen niamh as much as i'd have liked.

sometimes, doing everything right felt so wrong.

i kept tossing and turning in bed, partly thankful that loraine was a deep sleeper. the last thing i'd want is to disturb someone else because i felt like shit. i tried to relax my mind by cuddling up to loraine, wrapping my arms around her and holding her close hoping to bring my mind some peace.

that clearly didn't work because as calm as i was now, i was also wide awake when i heard loraine mumble something. not quite sure if she was awake or asleep i tried to call out  to her. "rain? are you up?" i whispered to her while gently caressing her leg but got no response. 

once i was sure she was asleep and that i wasn't going to be able to anytime soon, i slowly slid out of bed and grabbed my phone before making my out to the kitchen and reaching out to grab some gin until i decided against it. 

getting drunk on a spirit, that too warm was not a wise idea. instead, i prayed there was some beer in the fridge and found 2 bottles. i sighed to myself as i grabbed one and popped it open with a bottle opener that was placed conviniently close to the fridge before making my way to the living room and sitting down on my sofa and taking a sip of the cold bitterness took over me.

turned on the lamp by the sofa before checking my phone. beer at 3 am was definitely not a good omen.

not knowing what to do, i opened instagram.

terrible choice of pass time. maeve's latest instagram post had been a picture of her and niamh at her most recent recital. i'd never even been to any of her events and it pinched me in the heart.

i went to maeve's profile and scrolled down past the posts. i'd met niamh once this year for a few days and that's it. i was watching her grow up from photographs and facetime that is. i came across an older post, dated to february of this year. maeve's birthday.

-instagram-