6 months to live

Chemo

Today was the day.

My mother drove me to the hospital a couple of hours early so I could get my blood tested to see if I was able to get chemotherapy done. The drive to the hospital was not an easy one. My heart was speeding so fast that it made me nauseated. I knew that it would make me feel better afterwards. I had a chance of surviving.

"How are you this morning?" The nurse tried to make conversation with me. It's pretty difficult to carry out a relaxing conversation when there is a needle embedded in your arm.

"Oh, I'm fine," I laughed it off. "Am I really going to lose my hair?" That was the hardest part of me being diagnosed with cancer.

Being Puerto Rican, I had very thick, long, coarse hair which was a trait passed down to me. My hair was one of my best features because it accentuated my beauty. I couldn't bear to picture myself with thin hair, or worse..no hair.

"Not everybody loses their hair, but I can't speak for you."

The foreign object left my arm. I nearly gagged as I looked at the amount of blood that she had taken from my arm. She then told me to go wait in the waiting room until my name was called. Although I had already discussed with my Oncologist and knew what to expect, I still wasn't ready.

My mother patiently waited with me in the waiting room until my name was called.

"Está bien cariño, puedes subir por encima de esto." She squeezed my hand. Then she repeated it again as if it would all of a sudden remove the queasiness I was trying to endure. (It's okay honey, you can rise above this.)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I had to take time off school because getting sick was easier since my white blood cell count were low. It was crucial for me to constantly wash my hands after touching things because I didn't want to risk getting sick. My mother had to wash her hands a lot too before she came in contact with me. Sugar was an absolute no no because it encouraged cancer cell growth. What I'd give to have a bite of chocolate.

Tatum was the first person I contacted. He was the first person I wanted to know about my condition. I trusted him.

"Why didn't you tell me sooner?" His voice was very low.

"I didn't want you to think less of me."

"Maya, I will love you even when I'm on my last breath. Nothing will ever stop my heart from the beating the way it does when I'm with you."

My heart skipped a beat. Tears rolled down my eyes as I opened my mouth. "You'll love me even when I'm lying on a hospital bed on the verge of dying? Even when all of my hair falls off?"

"Yes," he didn't hesitate. "I love to the moon and back five times. It wasn't your hair I fell in love with. You're the only person I want to be with."

My lips trembled as I spoke. "I love you!"

It took him awhile but he said it. "I love you too."

---------------------

As much as Tatum is a jerk, there's no denying that he actually really cares for Maya. Now if only she stopped pretending she cared for him....

I love reading comments so don't forget to do that. Please don't feel bad about giving me negative feedback. I'm not soft. I can handle your worst, BUT if you dare tell me that Santiago isn't attractive, that's when I get angry.