Love Procedure: SOOBIN & SOHEE

13: deja vu

My eyes stopped leaking, they were puffy. I sniffled, noticing my tears got on Soobin's shirt. He didn't bother teasing me, I look up at him to see a single tear drop his face.

I wiped it for him, you're so careless Soobin.

"SOHEE!"
I jumped, Yeonjun's voice..

He snatches my arm, Soobin reached out for me but was too late. He had no authority to start a scene, I reached out for Soobin as I was getting pulled away by my husband.

He slams me into the corner of a building.
"Sohee, I told you. Keep your affairs secret. Do you know how far I went for you? I dumped Chaeyoung you know that right?"
His words affirmed, playing with my hair pinning me to the wall staring at me with command, yet looking crazy.

I stared with intense eyes keeping my chin high.
"I hate you, Yeonjun."

"I'm not the villain Sohee, this is all for our own good."
He tried comforting me with that stupid soothing voice of his.

"It's not because of this! If you would've liked me earlier this never would've turnt out this way!"
Tears over flooded, I've been holding back saying this. It hurt when it finally came out. it's been years. You'd never knew until now, it hurts so bad, my heart is on fire. It hurt telling it to his face, you were never supposed to know. How does fate intertwine us like this?

Fate is a funny word to describe us.

"Yeonjun I loved you! Loved you a lot! I loved you so much I hate you."
I scream in his face, my wrists trembling as he still had me pinned.

"W-what?"
His grip tightened, confused.

"Y-you idiot. I loved you so much, more than Chaeyoung could ever. I loved you so much, I lived for you. do you understand?"
My voice was choked up, I couldn't see his face as tears blurred my vision. Humiliating yet painful.

Yeonjun looked for my eyes, pondering. His eyebrows lowered.

"10 years ago, in Highschool you were my EVERYTHING. The moments where we'd talk and walk everyday, the compliments and the looks you gave me I TREASURED. I treasured all the small things, I loved you when no one did, I admired you as much as you admired me. You helped me live, I would've never been satisfied being stuck alone in this stupid office simulation. Well guess what, I've been doing it alone for 10 years straight. I was a girl that loved you so much it wasn't even a CRUSH. I prayed everyday for you guys to break up, now that I have it all, it's too late. It irks me, I hate you Yeonjun. I hate your handsome cunning face, I hate that voice of yours, I hate it so much I'd rather die."

I curse him. The tears couldn't fade, my mind felt hazy. You can never forget your first love like it was yesterday, you can't blame a girl who never had Justice with her first love. The boy who gave her the world but didn't give her enough. He stood in front of me. He is unrighteous and unfitting. I can't keep saying I hate him when I know I don't.

Although I remember his touch like it was yesterday. It makes me toss and turn as in my dreams he's always with a blank face or still holding my hands. He's gripping tightly to my wrists now, leaving marks. How would teenage Sohee feel?

It's all forceful hate, how can I hate my first love? I have every right to, it's just the heart.
It's the love I have left to spare, I don't want him because it doesn't feel right. I have nothing to look for, I have nothing to hold onto.

Looking at you I see nothing, so why do I hold on and come back?

Every single day since I was a teenager, I thought about you, even when you had a girlfriend. I hated you because we never spoke after you graduated. I didn't know you anymore, but I just knew that if I saw you in front of me, I'd leap into your arms in a heart beat falling in love with you again just by looking into your eyes.

Even when I kiss Soobin, I think about you.

"You never cared about me until now Yeonjun, I hate that.. you're too late."
I sniffle and cry one last time, collapsing.

"SOHEE!"
fuck off... my head is ringing. As I slowly fall I see a pitying look on his face, the thing I wished for, for so long.

. . .

"GET AWAY FROM HER."
Soobin rushed in to grab Sohee as she crumbled, unconscious. Crying and hugging her. "I should've came sooner, sh.. sh.. it's okay Soobin's here." He says wiping the wet tears on her face.

Insane talking to a person who fainted, Sohee was cold not responding. Soobin hugged her, covering her from Yeonjun. He finally lifted her up, "I should've been there."
Sniffling. The only thing that stopped him was the guilt of his Job, his place and where he stood. Where did he stand next to Sohee in this world?

"Soobin, don't you dare move another step and I mean it."
Yeonjun rumbled, San stood behind him and so did other body guards. Soobin was cornered.

"I'm sorry for being weak Sohee."
Soobin whispers one last time in her ear.
He holds a firm grip on her, but standing still not moving. If only he could stay like this forever,

His arms faltered as Yeonjun slowly transferred Sohee into his arms. San followed along. San's face also bitter.

Who was he? Soobin thought. Anyone could clearly see who the villain was. Just give me back my love. He wanted to shout, but he's just Sohee's father's lowly assistant and Yeonjun was a soon to be CEO. The man who followed Yeonjun, San looked at Sohee with pure pity and sadness.

Why does he get to look at her that way? Stand behind Yeonjun and just watch? It's annoying.