Love Procedure: SOOBIN & SOHEE

18: shut down

"I warned you Soobin. I didn't think it had to end this way. I really enjoyed working with you, you proved your worth. Maybe not enough.. I told you not to mingle with my daughter."
Mr. Kim cracks his knuckles after giving me a few hard punches, I lie on the ground huffing, staring at him with a swollen beat eye. My vision blurred as my glasses fell from my nose. He snapped it with his foot.

"I want you to leave. Don't even tell Sohee. You'll never see her again. Listen to these orders."
My heart hurts more than my body, those words don't mean anything to me. Just the thought of losing her made me shake.

I was left in that darkroom as Mr. Kim finally left. What a cruel man, my body was too weak, too weak to even sob. I have to see Sohee at the hospital immediately!

Before I have to leave.
My eyes slowly started to shut, my body was shutting down. He hit me too hard...

I woke up a couple hours later, it was already morning. Please tell me I have more time! My eye was starting to de-puff and I limped to my car. I assume she's at the nearest hospital, let me see her. She's why I'm staying, she's why I didn't give up. When you find something to live for, it'll stick forever. It's not a one time thing.

I arrived, I assumed I was at the correct hospital as I noticed Yeonjun's car. I saw him exiting with a serious face, I sighed in relief and manage to sneak in.

"Are you alright?"
The receptionist asks kindly, she assumes I'm here for my own check up.

"No- no, I'm here to see Kim Sohee."
The receptionist looks at me with pity,
"We normally don't allow visitors with no permission from the list we have, but I'll let this slide. If anything goes wrong, I'll have to get someone to kick you out."

"Thank you!"
I sigh with relief, nearly emotional. I just want to see Sohee.. one last time.

She tells me what floor and I don't hesitate to run there.

...

There she was, lying peacefully.
"Sohee noona..."
I just wanted to break right there. Look at her.. if only I was strong enough to prevent this all...

"Soobin!"
She sits up immediately, her face lighting up. I can feel a smile growing on my face.

"Hi noona."
I'm as happy as she is. I pull the chair over and sit down.

"Soobin, why weren't you there for me earlier."
My hands tremble, gripping onto the chair. Furious at myself and everyone.
"Soobin why'd you let Yeonjun make me cry like that.."
She punches my chest while crying into it, I can't do anything but console her. Wrapping my arms around her fragile weak body. She's lost all her strength, her powerful persona thrown out the window.
"Sh.. I know, I know, it's all my fault."
Lonely silence creeped up on us.

"Miss, I'm afraid I stepped out of line farther than I should've."

"No you didn't."
What are we for her to want me in her life like this..?

"I got fired."
I gulp. Breaking out the news.
....
Leaving that hospital was even more heartbreaking, but my eyes are glued to the road. No looking back now.

It's been a year, although I haven't forgot you, I have to force it. I miss you so much, I've became stronger and grown so much financially since I left.

I want to take care of you.. just give me more time. I have to stop thinking about you so I can stop blaming myself. I know it was my fault for getting intertwined with you, but I don't regret a single thing.

I checked into my hotel, I have business in your area again. I hope I don't get into anymore trouble, I've worked so hard. Just thinking about you makes me tear up. Pushing you away is easy, but thinking about you makes it hard.

I don't expect you to be at a hotel anyway.
After getting into my room, I finally gave up. I knew it's highly unlikely to meet someone I knew from Mr. Kim's company, especially Sohee. I had nothing really planned, I'm really just going back to Japan afterwards.

I need to clear my head, I'll live my whole life single and miserable if I have to. I'll never forget Sohee. I'll live my life locked away, locked in with you in my heart. Sometimes you can't have what you want. I strived to reach to the top, crashing back to bottom then gaining strength again. I'll do it millions of times.

Life is boring, my parents are gone, you're gone. What can I do? I have to rely on myself.

I'll go explore around this hotel in the meantime, I exit the door sighing. Turning to my left, hm, a neighbour? Oh yeah. The annoying neighbour making all the lewd noises, what a pain.

I turn to see, Sohee.

Staring at her felt illegal. My eyes shook, she stood there with messy hair clenching to a pair of black lace panties. They were hers, I remember.

My fists shook angrily, it was jealousy.
Who... were you doing it with? Why..?
I just looked ahead. I can't see you.

It's not allowed. Walking past her, I can feel the gust of wind blowing on her, her panties slipping out of her hands. I can't see her reaction.

Few moments later, I hear the door click. In the corner of my eye, vision blurred, the man gave her a back hug, luring her in. I can feel my whole body tense, it made me feel shittier leaving her there. Is this the kind of woman you are? Who am I kidding... I can't compare to your demands, you're too good for me.

I can't do anything about it, I've come this far. Please just wait for me again Sohee. Walking away.