Janani - The Warrior Mother

Chapter 15

It was time.

There was so much more to lose.

"I will have to leave with the princes tonight, Rajkumari." Panchal's prince had made himself very clear that afternoon, when a friendly tea had turned suddenly serious. "They are of age..."

Subhadra's small smile faltered, her nimble fingers trembling as she placed the porcelain cup on the plate with a clink. "I....understand, Yuvraj."

The prince had never been one for mincing words, but even she could tell how unsettled he felt having this conversation. The least she could do was handle it with maturity. He cleared his throat, "This is the right time to begin their training, especially Prativindhya."

Yadavi met his gaze, a silent understanding of Draupadi's wishes flashing between them. "They will do well under your guidance, Yuvraj."

Dhrishtadyumn nodded but lingered, his brow furrowed as he took a sip from his teacup. "I....want to thank you."

"You don't have to thank a mother for nurturing her child," Subhadra replied softly. "I will continue to nurture them, even as they grow apart from me."

Dhrishtadyumn's hardened gaze softened as he blinked, nodding. "They trust you more than anyone....you have been more than a mother to them."

"And I will continue to be," she drew in a breath, her hands quivering slightly in her lap. "They will become the warriors Jiji wanted them to be."

For the first time in years, Subhadra saw Dhrishtadyumn's face light up, even if it was for a second. The thought of playing a part in bringing up his nephews seemed to light a fire within him, as if he had been waiting for this chance. She, on the other hand, felt the slight pang of not having them around her anymore.

"You are more than welcome to visit them every now and then," Dhrishtadyumn offered graciously. "I am sure they would love to catch up."

She nodded, her gaze drifting towards the gardens where the boys played, shouting and laughing, dodging the servants who tried to catch them. She thought of the same boys, grown up, slashing through warriors double their size.

She felt pride, but also a stab of worry.

For a moment, there was silence. Dhrishtadyumn observed the princess before him, the woman he respected for the way in which she handled the crumbling of her family. He had seen the way his nephews ran to her for comfort or joy, finding solace in her mere presence. She was much like her brother in ways that would always seem slightly elusive to him. 

He hadn't noticed the small tear that escaped from the crevice of her eye until she wiped it with the back of her hand, straightening slightly. 

"I'm not ready," her voice was so small he had to think whether he had actually heard it. It seemed to break him from the inside, as if she were baring the most vulnerable parts of her soul to him. 

He wanted to offer comfort, say something, do anything, but he hesitated, shifting slightly in his seat. He was relieved when she seemed to recover from her minute lapse in composure, gaze shifting to the teacup that she had left abandoned.

"I...will let them know," she said quietly, meeting his eyes. 

"Uh...yes," he replied, swallowing the lump in his throat. Now would be a good time to drink more tea.

He heard the door close with a click as she left, leaning back in his chair and watching the boys play as he took a sip.

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"Do we have to go?" Shrutsen mumbled, tightening his grip around Subhadra's midriff as she sighed, shoving more clothes into large chest which she snapped shut, startling him.