ISHWASA : His warrior Begam

19. HER PAIN!!

I don't know what was the glitch yesterday, I could not open the wattpad even for a minute  they flash the error message as soon as I open app..

@iiriss_19 this is for you!!!!

This chapter has Ishwasa's pov from the day she got kidnapped till now. I have tried to make it short and sweet still the chapter has 3000+ words!!!

I was numb. The feeling of nothingness engulfing me whole. Neither I wanted to live nor I wanted to die. I was feeling disgust from my own body.

I did not want to touch myself after he touched me. I did not want to see myself. I just want to cry loudly, so loudly and keep crying till I pass out. My whole body was aching badly and I was covered with bandages all around. My every part of body is paining like hell even if I move an inch.

The two days spent in complete numbness. I was just breathing. Now and then I was again and again feeling the same pain I suffered then. I was feeling like the same thing happening to me all over again. The panic again rushing into my nerves making me scream. I tremble like a leaf when the memories return. I loose all controls on my body just his words ringing in my head; monitoring me.

When I wanted to sleep the same scenario getting repeated in my dream too and I ended up in Shahenshah's arms again, crying badly, trembling and repeating same words to reassure my self that if I repeat these words he would not haunt me anymore. But I was wrong. His words never left my mind. They just buried down for some time but again jump back with double intensity making me vulnerable.

Speaking of Shahenshah, he is always around me. If I was up then too I found him near me, helping in my bandage, feeding me medicine or feeding me food. He was always there whenever I wake up in middle of night screaming. He keep on talking to me even when I was replying nothing.

Begam sahiba too was taking care of me very much. I was missing maasa so much looking at her love and care.

I don't want to speak anymore. His threats resonating in my brain again and again whenever I wanted to speak or walk out or do something. Those hits and slaps threatening me to even look up. I feel like if I utter one word form my mouth then I would get hit again. He would appear out from anywhere and would cage me again.

But Shahenshah was the person who make me feel safe the most. He was so obstinate in making me speak, getting reactions out of me. Whenever he spent time with me he always try to fill me with confidence, always telling me how much of great warrior I am and how much he admire my courage.

But it felts the whole conversation vent in vain when I did not reply anything. But he again visits me, another time, another day, another motivational stories.

Now its been Three or four days since that incident occurred. I got two more visitors; Army chief sir and Home minister sir. They treat me like I am their own sister. They always try to make me smile with their stories. First I was awkward around them but they did not stop visiting and like this they both became close ones to me.