Red Ruse

Chapter Twenty Four

Maven

For the second, and hardly final time, Mother is not amused.

She doesn't drag me by the ear this time, only ripping into my mind with more violence than normal. I almost flinch. Almost. I'm used to this, the heavy price of her love. The sharp sting whenever I disobey.

Her hand collides with the nearest ceramic, shattering it on the floor. A servant kneels to clean it up. She kicks them in the stomach. "If you love Reds so much, why not become one?" Her voice rises to a shriek. "Get an Arven to forge stone chains and forsake your blood altogether."

I swallow. "There's no need–"

"Shut up." She yanks the desk drawer open, rummaging through it. Around us, papers still line the floor, my tryst with Mare echoing with every rustle. "Your little schemes are going to get us killed."

I reach for her shoulder, a tense, unsteady hand. "Did you find what you were looking for?"

Her fingers clench around a report, slamming it on the desk. "Five snapdragons." The shriek is gone, leaving only cold, calm, calculation. "You traded five snapdragons and the Measures for him."

I force a smile, my charm hanging by a thin rope. "Of course." My hand shakes as I lay it on her shoulder. "He's the rival heir. Why wouldn't I pay any price to get him back?"

She stares at me, hand clasping over mine like a vice. "The Measures were not yours to give."

I draw back, but she tightens her grip, forcing me in place. "They weren't necessary anymore."

"Of course they were." She sniffs. "They were strength. They were power. They were a reminder of the natural order of things."

I don't speak.

"They were a barrier between you and that girl." The blow is swift and final, rattling through me without remorse. "Something she wanted, and you were foolish enough to give."

My mind races, trying to outpace her.

I fail.

"Not without strings." I wince despite myself, her whispers growing talons as they rake through my memories. Her disdain rips through me and I want to tear my own skin off, set it on fire to cleanse what little soul I have left. "She cares for me, Mother. I'm sure we can–"

"What of Evangeline?" Her voice rises. "How . . . clever, letting her sniff your brother out. Poking Samos until they split in half, all to make her break her own betrothal." Her whispers tighten. "I suppose you gave no thought to the aftermath."

I pull out a seat across from her. "He'll be dealt with, don't worry." I steady my breathing. "And so will she."

Mother scrapes her nails on the table, a sharp sound ringing through my skull. "By you?" She rounds the table, tip, tip, tapping. "I doubt that."

"I'm sorry." The words leave me unbidden. "I thought–"

"Son." She softens. "We all have to make sacrifices."

"Is that what you thought of Thomas?" Cold ripples off me, an endless well. I'm not being fair to her, I know, but the words feel right. "That he made me weak?"

Silence.

Mother lays a hand on my shoulder. "I did all I could, Maven."

I know. I know, and yet I can't stop the words from spilling over. "You never liked him, did you? That he let me have someone outside you, someone I could turn to, someone I might love on my own terms?"

I snap my mouth shut. I may be her son, but I am still beneath her, even if her love gives me some leverage. My fingers clench around empty air as she draw back. "You said that of Cal too. That he loved you more than his crown and his own selfish whims. So please, Maven, continue. Call me a monster for wanting to keep you safe."

It's a lie, of course, even if I don't care to correct it. Cal loved me without remorse until I severed us myself. "I never called you that."

"Good." She cups my cheeks, squashing them as if I were a babe. "At least you still have some sense."

My hands shake as I break away, clutching my chest. "I don't want to be alone."

She tightens. "You're not alone."

"I know." My breathing is ragged, unsteady. "I know."

Mother stares at me, unwilling or unable to look away. "I love you." Her fingers ghost mine, a gentle squeeze. "Pull yourself together, son. It won't do for them to see you break."

She's right, however much my body may scream. She's right, however much my mind betrays me.

I wipe my eyes. I steel my heart.

And I make my way towards the door, where Mare awaits my decision.

Would you like him as a wedding gift?

The words leave my mouth with rapt idiocy as I tuck a strand of hair behind her ear. His death, I mean. I smile, taking in her scent, her voice, the little things that may not last any longer. The way her breath hitches when I lean closer. It's the least you deserve, after all.

She stares at me, quiet. I'd already offered my condolences. I didn't think them worth lingering on.

How can you smile, after all this? Her slap lands on my chest with more force than I thought she had. How can you smile, knowing what he meant to me?

I still. Well . . . My eyes dart before focusing once more. It's your vengeance. I thought it would mean more than words ever could.

Mare exhales, still staring. You're a monster. Her fingers tighten on nothing but air. But I suppose I am too, now.

You're a warrior, Mare. I lay a tentative hand on hers. And he was too. Don't–

She yanks away. You don't know me. Her breath comes out as a hiss. You're all poison. You're all–

I interrupt her with a kiss.

She grabs my hair and pulls me down, stumbling against the wall. I'll ruin you, she mutters against my lips. I'll–

I hiss into her mouth. Not if I ruin you first.

The rest of me is far away, off scheming or dreaming or whatever it is I do when I'm not conscious. All I know is my time is running out. All I know is the tip, tip, tap of disapproval, the nails on the table, the echo of pain in every stray thought.

And no crown is going to stop whatever happens next.