This Bond Of Love || Lee Heeseung

🪻Heart Of Deceit

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I'm trapped in the labyrinth of my own emotions, searching for a way out of the love that still haunts me. It's like I'm drowning in a sea of what-ifs and maybes, and I don't know how to keep my head above water when all I want to do is scream and cry and make it all go away.

~ Kim Nina

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Nina's pov 

As I lay in my bed, staring at the ceiling, I couldn't help but think about the encounter with Heeseung in my hospital office room five days ago. It felt like a lifetime ago, yet the emotions still lingered, refusing to dissipate.

"7 years, it's been seven long years and I don't know how much longer I can keep pretending like I'm okay, when in reality, I'm still reeling from the aftermath of our breakup and struggling to make sense of it all." I thought to myself, the words echoing in my mind like a mantra.

When Heeseung appeared out of nowhere, my heart almost leapt out of my chest. I felt like I was reliving the past, like I was transported back to that fateful day when I received the last text that shattered my world. The unknown look in his eyes when he looked at me, like he was also breaking from inside doing that but when I wanted to reach out to him, he just walked away and never looked back. No explanation of his double meaning text, no apology, just a cold, heartless goodbye. 

On one side he told me, My love for him was great but the next sec, he is walking away from it like nothing. What am I to make from it ? What am I supposed to understand from it ? 

When I gazed at Heeseung that day , I couldn't help but wonder what had brought him back into my life. Was it a coincidence ? Or was it just a cruel joke, a way to rub salt in my wounds? I felt like I was torn between two versions of myself: the strong, independent Nina who had learned to move on, and the vulnerable, broken Nina who still yearned for Heeseung's love.

I wanted to lash out at him, to scream at him for the pain he had caused me. But at the same time, I wanted to hold him close, to beg him to stay, to make him understand how much he had hurt me. I felt like I was drowning in my emotions, unable to find a lifeline to cling to.

As I lay in bed, I couldn't shake off the feeling of helplessness and frustration. I was trapped in my emotions, unable to shake off the feeling that I was still stuck in the past. I was angry at Heeseung for breaking my heart, for not considering my feelings, and for making me feel like I was nothing more than a disposable object.

But beneath the anger and frustration, I still yearned for Heeseung. I wanted him to understand how much he hurt me, and I wanted him to make it right. I longed for the love and connection we once shared, and I was torn between my desire for revenge and my desire for closure.

As the night wore on, my thoughts swirled in a jumbled mess of anger, hurt, and longing. I felt like I was lost and alone, unsure of how to navigate my feelings or how to move forward. I was plagued by self-doubt and insecurity, wondering if I was ever truly loved by Heeseung, or if I was just a convenience for him.

I questioned my own worth, wondering if I was worthy of love and respect. The thoughts swirled in my mind, refusing to let me sleep, refusing to let me escape the emotional turmoil that had become my life.

As I lay in bed, my mind continued to wander, consumed by the memories of Heeseung's past betrayals. Why did he always leave me when we were on the brink of happiness? I thought to myself, the question echoing in my mind like a haunting melody.