This Bond Of Love || Lee Heeseung

🪻 Your Eyes Only

◤──•~❉᯽❉~•──◥

"I've spent years burying the pieces of us, only to find them unearthed by a single touch, a single word. I can forgive him for his absence... but how do I forgive the part of myself that still longs for him?"

~ Kim Nina

◣──•~❉᯽❉~•──◢

Nina's Pov

The moment I closed the front door, warmth rushed to my cheeks, and I slid down, slumping there on the spot. I couldn't fathom the pace my heart was racing at, as if it were trying to remind me of something I kept suppressing. It was so hard to act nonchalant around him, pretending as if there had been nothing between us-as if he hadn't once been the center of my world. I hated it, but at the same time... I didn't. Did he even see me in that light anymore? He was the one who left, yet I was the one desperately wanting to run into his arms, to hold on and never let go.

It wasn't like I ever hated him. But I hated that he thought it would be best for me if he walked away. He couldn't know the emptiness he'd left behind or the part of me he took with him. Screw this therapist nonsense! Every time he's in front of me, my rational and emotional sides clash violently. I expect myself to be calm and composed, to act like nothing hurts when he tells me why he broke up with me back then. I wanted to scream, Why? Why did you think leaving me was good for me? Who are you to decide that?

I'm upset with him, yes, but I can't stand to see the guilt and remorse darkening his eyes. I notice the dark circles under those bambi eyes, the way his cheekbones have become more defined, the exhaustion that clings to him. How can I add to that? He's only started to get better. He said he did what he did because of his parents, and that was all. No further explanation, no less. We'd promised each other honesty-what happened to that promise? I can't even throw a tantrum or be childish because I'm his supposed therapist here. What a joke.

Is it wrong of me to want him back, to erase this awkward distance that's making me sick? God, I'm still hopelessly in love with him, only him. Today, too, when our shoulders accidentally brushed, my heartbeat went wild-and his did too. I heard it, that tiny hitch in his breath. I can't even label what we are now. Exes? Friends? Nothing feels right, especially when I talk to him like he's a stranger, like I don't know every little detail about him.

And yet, I notice everything. How can I not, when he acts that way only around me? The way his ears turn red at even the slightest romantic hint between us, the way he covers his face and takes deep breaths when he thinks I'm not looking, the immediate excuses he starts making if he thinks I've misunderstood him. For the world, he's cool and composed-the successful businessman, the musician everyone admires, an ace in everything he does. But around me, he's that imperfectly perfect jerk who makes my heart race.

As I sat there, still slumped against the door, my phone rang. Sophie's warm, melodic voice filled my ear. "Nina, baby~~" she cooed on the other line, and I hummed, recognizing her immediately.

"This Saturday, our university reunion is on, and you have to come. Everyone's invited, including you..." Sophie said with a sing-song excitement.

I was about to protest, to come up with an excuse, but then another voice chimed in-Siya, who knew me far too well. "And before you come up with some excuse because of a certain hot jerk, let me tell you, he'll be there too. He was the heartthrob of our university, after all. And you, my friend, can't back out."