This Bond Of Love || Lee Heeseung

🪻 The Fragile Edge Of Love

[CW : Long Chapter]

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"Loving him was as natural as breathing, but trusting him again felt like standing on the edge of a cliff—beautiful yet terrifying, with no promise of a safe landing."

~ Kim Nina 

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Kim Nina's Pov 

When I stepped into my apartment, I thought I’d feel relief—some fleeting happiness from the party, from the warmth of his words, his touch. But the silence that greeted me only made the ache in my chest louder. Instead of feeling lighter, I felt like I was sinking, drowning in emotions I wasn’t ready to face.

My heart was heavy, weighed down by the memory of his confessions, his gentle caresses, the way he held me as though I were something precious. For a few hours, I let myself believe it could be enough—that we could be enough. But the universe always had a cruel way of reminding me that dreams were just that. Reality came crashing down the moment we parted, leaving me with nothing but fear and doubt.

I sank onto the edge of my bed, staring blankly at the wall. Loving him came as naturally as breathing. That was never the problem. But trusting him? Trusting that he wouldn’t leave again when things got hard, that he wouldn’t shatter me all over again—that was a gamble I wasn’t sure I could take.

The thought of giving him my trust only to watch him crush it again made my stomach twist. I had barely survived the last time. How could I risk it now?

I buried my face in my hands, torn between the love that still burned so fiercely within me and the fear of losing myself to him once more. What if I gave him my heart again, and he walked away like before? What if the scars he left last time were just the beginning?

It was easier to imagine pushing him away, locking up the part of me that still wanted him so desperately. But the thought of a life without him—without his laughter, his touch, his voice calling my name—was unbearable.

Loving him and trusting him felt like two entirely different worlds. And as much as I wanted to believe we could find our way back to each other, I didn’t know if my heart was strong enough to cross the chasm between them.

I leaned back against the headboard, the weight in my chest growing heavier with every thought. Heeseung’s voice echoed in my mind—his confessions, his reassurances, the way he said he’d gain my trust again. And then, there were Jay’s words, sharp and unyielding, like a mirror reflecting the truth I couldn’t deny.

Jay wasn’t wrong. In fact, I agreed with him. Loving someone like Heeseung meant wanting the best for him, even if that best might not include me. Because being with me right now might hurt him, too. I couldn’t ignore the way my hesitation would chip away at his efforts—at us. Imagine him giving his all while I stood still, too afraid to take the steps forward with him.

I couldn’t hurt him like that. But at the same time, the thought of staying away from him felt like tearing myself apart. I was stuck in this impossible in-between, where neither choice seemed right.