Into Insanity

Chapter 33: Civilized

In a Wonderland they lie, Dreaming as the days go by, Dreaming as the summers die:
Ever drifting down the stream- Lingering in the golden gleam- Life, what is it but a dream?

I take another step, holding my weight on the bar. I shake as I hold myself up. The man chuckles, "You will never get where you need to go, unless you put forth the effort."

"Ugh, don't you think I know that!?" I say while rolling my eyes.

"How about try and take that arm out of the sling? You use tour muscles to build both your arm and your leg. Putting all your weight on that left hand isn't going to get you far. There's a reason why my company is called 'Rays Repairs' ya know." He giggled at the name. I huff and stop. I look at my arm in the sling and swallow. I'm worried that I'll fail.

"Mr. Ray," I start.

My mentor interrupts me, "Call me Mike. Ray is too formal." He chuckles.

"Mike, I don't think I'm ready?" I say and balance my weight between my right leg and left arm. I forgot I had physical therapy today and wore jeans, as my mom insists that I should start to get more comfortable wearing other clothes and see how I feel. Batari always agrees with her, and they go shop for me. The jeans don't hurt, but it's more difficult to maneuver in them without them rubbing against my scars and wounds.

"You're ready. You need to get back this fucker that did this to you." He says and I look away. He sigh, "We don't have to bullshit each other, I know of what happened. I run this business and I do as I'm told, but I'm really here to help. I like you, Jason, I want to help you the best I can. I do that being honest with you and pushing you. Now, hand me that sling and walk to me. Try not to use the rails." He says.

It's been a few weeks and luckily, my hand, leg, and right arm have healed properly. Even so, my right arm had minimal damage to it, so I got out of the cast quicker than expected and into a sling for only when I am "uncomfortable". I refuse to admit it out loud, but fear has taken over my life. The scars left on my body has left one on my mental. Lately, every other day, I am still haunted by what happened. What everyone has been calling an accident. It wasn't an accident, it was full hatred and pure evil staring into my eyes. Those eyes still haunt me and when the light catches just right, I see him in Batari.

Batari still remains hopeful and happy. She still tries to give excuses on why she doesn't want to go back to the island, but I can't stand being here. Here, I can't carry a weapon to protect myself. I am vulnerable here. Other than my family, I have nothing here. I know Vaas feels the same way. He's sitting outside in the office. He has often been keeping tabs on me, shadowing what I am doing. He's eager to go back, just as I am.

I take off my sling and stretch my arm out to give it to him. He stands at the end of the rails and shrugs. I glare at him, "Here." I hold it out but my right arm can't take much of its weight. I let it drop. He smiles and shakes his head.

"Ah, your arm seems to be a bit tired, more tired than that left one. I am stuck here, you'll have to walk to me. You know what, how about this: you walk here without the rails and you are done for today. I'll even buy you a drink afterwards." He says and holds out his hand, "You'll have to come and shake it before it drops or the deal is off."

"Fine." I say and look down. I sigh and clench my jaw before I move. I put my weight and it's uncomfortable, but surprisingly not bad. I limp and walk to him within a matter a seconds. He holds his right hand out and I quickly glance at my skinny arm. I hold it up and he firmly takes my hand, and shakes. The pain is not unbearable, but I will not shake his hand again until I am ready.

"Too much? Then you'll need this drink." He chuckles and takes my sling, "I'll keep this here. You need to push yourself or you'll never be able to get back to where you are. It's the same with your mental, Jason. You have to bend your will and really strive for that. Hold on to something, find that something." He says while patting me on the back. A picture of Dennis comes through my head. Mike Ray reminds me of him, these speeches he is saying, telling me to push myself.