Into Insanity

Chapter 1: Recovery

"You are so fucked, Jason."

It's been three months since the island, and I'm laying on my bed back at my house in San Monica, California. Riley is with me at my house because he didn't want to stay alone and we haven't been to moms yet. I really don't want to face her and tell her what happened on the island... I mean what would she say? How could I tell her about Grant?

Everyone else kind of parted ways but Liza and I decided to try again. I honestly don't think that it's going to work because I went down a different road that she didn't, and she couldn't follow me down my road. Right now she's out buying things for the house and it's just me and Riley. Oliver is with his parents like Daisy, she's probably trying to work around her memories on the island and forget everything. Keith is in the hospital trying to recover from what happened to him. He's going to have the most trouble, out of my friends, forgetting the island and all of the memories. My friends decided to join up, all of our family's together and work things out at my moms house. Liza was the one who planned it out and everyone else agreed. I don't want to go because I know everyone is going to want to know what happened to me and how I'm doing... I honestly can't face them.

Liza came back with groceries and a few things to keep us busy. She got Riley a lot of things to occupy himself with. "Hey Jay, can I talk to you a minute?" Liza asks very soft and soothing, but before I could reply she was already sitting on our bed. Riley is in the living room watching tv. I look back to him to make sure he's busy then walk into my bedroom.

"Yeah...uh, what's wrong?" I hesitate to ask but I finally get it out. I don't want to talk and I especially don't want to talk with her. I know she's trying to keep us together and bring me back to my old self, but how can that happen?

"Nothing is wrong, it's just when I was out I found this place that might help you." I knew this was going to be bad.

"No Liza I-I'm not going to a counselor."

"Jason, why not? I mean it would be good for you!"

"No it's not... Liza what happened on that island can never leave us. You think that me going to see a counselor, talking about what happened and what I did is going to help me? It's not Liza, it's just not!" I felt really bad because I'm yelling at her when all she wants is to help me. But what am I going to say? 'Hey I'm Jason Brody, my friends and I sky dived on an island that had pirates that was led by Vaas who tried to sell us into slavery after ransoming us and killing two of us. The privateers who was ruled by Hoyt who grew drugs and was the boss of Vaas, and then the Rakyat that was ruled by a woman that turned me into a killing machine, to be the most powerful warrior there. That the final test was to kill all of my friends and who knows what else. Also while I was on my journey to save my friends and my brother, I killed so many men I lost count and enjoyed it because I felt like 'winning'. I was drugged so many times, shot, captured, almost burned to death, almost drowned, and shot out of a helicopter and was still going!' I mean if I told someone that they would probably send me into a nut house!

"Well Jason... you never know, ok? I'm just worried about you. Think about it? I know you went through some hard things but all I want to do is help."

"I know, I...I just... it's hard Liza. Thank you for trying to help but I'm ok. Really. Uh, I love you." The last two sentences were a lie. I couldn't help myself and I feel broken, really not me as a whole, but the place I'm at, it's not home.

"Wow Jason! You are one good liar!" the voice inside my head just wouldn't shut up.

"I love you too." Liza smiled, got up and hugged me, then she walked out to see Riley sitting on the couch. I get up and stand in the doorway of our bedroom watching both Liza and Riley. They both seem to have recovered nicely and act like nothing ever happened. They seem so at peace and normal. I wish that I was there. It only takes them 3 months to feel normal again, when I'm having nightmares about Vaas, the Island, killing more men, and Citra... actually I wouldn't call them nightmares, when I think about the island I find myself smiling? I miss the thrill and being a hero and having glory. I miss the kick of the guns that I would shoot and the feeling of climbing the radio towers to help the Rakyat. When I think of Vaas though... I... I see myself sometimes and I don't know why? I mean we're nothing alike and I see myself in him. I don't know why I think about him though because he's dead and all the way back on the island... so is Citra. She died by Dennis stabbing her. And Vaas, he died by my blade. The knife from the tomb of the Chinese warrior. So why was I having dreams of them? I had so many questions but no answers and no solutions.

"Having a hard time, mate? Well then... and it's not just a fuckin' knife. It's art!" I could hear another tiny voice in my head. What is wrong with me?