Fresh New Antivirus

Ch. 80 - Lust's Confession

(A/N: CAUTION this is the heaviest chapter i've written, please be in an ok headspace to read, and if not, please skip and i hope you find closure for whatever it is you're going through.

Trigger warning for attempted r*pe, murder in self defense/defense of another, suicidal thoughts)

***

Lust took a shaky breath. "i am well aware that the ... reputation of my AU, isn't exactly what one would give a 'sparkling review' over, unless going for a very specific reason." Lust fiddled with his fingers, not looking at the crowd in front of him. "i am also aware of the less than pleasant rumors. and while Underlust isn't as deplorable as its fell variants ... there are small areas and individuals that still come close."

His voice shook for the barest moment. And bravely, he began his story.

***

It was a late, cold night a long time ago, during a Surface Timeline long erased. But not forgotten.

Lust had finished his part time job at New Grillby's as a pole dancer, and while some tried to make a couple passes on Lust in their intoxicated state, it wasn't anything Lust wasn't used to nor couldn't handle. And in the rare case things would get overly out of hand, a heated glare from Candle - Underlust's Grillby - was usually all it took to get them to back off. Candle took being the barkeep and bodyguard very seriously in his establishment, and the locals all knew not to push their luck with the patient flame. Especially regarding Lust.

That night a group from out of town had been rowdier than the regulars at the strip bar, but it was handled easily enough, ending with them kicked out. As the night went on he had nearly forgotten about them. His mind was preoccupied with later plans he had been looking forward to.

It hadn't been long since he and Candle started joining anime fridays that had become a weekly tradition. That night it was being held at Undyne's. There would be games, snacks, puzzles, and - of course - anime. A slice of normalcy carried over from before the infertility epidemic ... and the resulting serum Gaster created that made Underlust what it was in an attempt to prevent monster kind from dying out.

After the bar closed and their shifts were over, Lust and Candle made their way toward what should have been a lovely night, simply holding hands. Candle in his hot pink rain jacket and Lust in one of his comfier, less revealing fluffy sweaters.

Papyrus, also known as Pink, had already called letting Lust know he left early in order to find "THE MOST PERFECT GIFT FOR HIS TRIVIA LOVING ROBOT BOYFRIEND, NEH HEH!" as he would always each week. Sometimes a new bowtie, sometimes a trivia book, or hand crafted puzzle, but Pink would always put time and care into picking the present. Unwaveringly, a gentleman and romantic in a world consumed with lust.

His bro was so cool. The coolest.

But not everyone was as good as his bro. And on that night, they were lying in wait.

Lust did not go into detail, only that they outnumbered them and were armed. No amount of Resets would be enough for him to forget that hopelessness on that cloudy day. He couldn't even protect his Candle when he was right there ... they were each other's hostage and witness.

And Lust ... snapped. Blasters, bones, punching, kicking, biting - anything to make them stop - to get them away from Candle, from himself. Even if it meant losing himself. And it seemed Candle had the same idea, fire balls soon joining the bone barrage.

It passed in a blur, and by the end he couldn't tell if it had been him who was screaming ... or them.

But what he did know is that when he snapped back into stark focus, Candle was kneeling and hugging him tightly. The sudden realization of the grit of dust and blood between joints, staining clothes and the thing that could have happened, and what did, was too much. He collapsed into Candles arms allowing him to be carried away, tears flowing.