the cadence of part time poets

Chapter 25: The Corners and Cracks

Got a feeling inside (can't explain),
It's a certain kind (can't explain);
I feel hot and cold (can't explain),
Yeah, down in my soul, yeah (can't explain)...

- "I Can't Explain" The Who, 1965

It had taken all of a week for the other boys to root out how Remus had spent his Easter holidays, and that was after he had been stopped twice by his new acquaintances; once in the dining hall by Renata and again when Audrey and Alice called him over while they were making their way to the gym.

"What did Renata want?" Peter asked the first time.

Remus shrugged as he shovelled eggs into his mouth. "Nothin'."

Sirius glanced up over Remus' shoulder to get a look. "Who's Renata?"

"She's one of Sim's friends," Peter said.

They all glanced at Remus expectantly, but he ignored them, keeping his head down over his breakfast and the book in his lap. It got harder later to convince them that nothing had happened once they'd seen Alice give him a baggy of loose tobacco, and so after much pestering from Sirius, Remus finally fessed up.

"I can't believe it," Sirius exclaimed in a hushed voice, "you did acid without us?"

"You guys weren't exactly right around the corner."

"James, he's not even repentant!"

"Let Remus take his psychedelics in peace, Sirius."

"Yes," Remus said, "let him."

"Shut-up Lupin, you traitor. It's like the cigarettes all over again—you just keep holding out on us. Got any other big secrets you'd like to share? Perhaps you're growing hash in the year thirteen gardens too?"

"God, you're such a drama queen."

"And you're a seditious Judas."

"Do you always have to put on a show?"

" 'All the world's a stage', so might as well make it your bitch."

"We're in church," James pointed out in a whisper.

Lily leaned across Remus' lap. "Oh, you only just now noticed?"

Sirius leaned across too, nearly touching his nose to hers. "It's rude to interrupt a conversation, Evans."

"Personal space, please!" Remus hissed, pinching Sirius' nose and making him sit up and fall back into James. A moment later Marlene looked over to give them a piercing glare and everyone was silent after that.

Rolling tobacco had at least been a hit for Sirius. According to him it was a much more useful life-skill than anything they were studying for exams, but Remus couldn't help but pick up on the other boy's slight jealousy when he learned that Simeon had been the one to teach him. Still, most of the memories of his time spent with the Byron House gang were spotty at best, but that was largely thanks to their friend 'Lucy', who'd turned up at more than one party, though Remus never admitted to anything other than the first time.

"You have to tuck the edge in and then lick it," Remus instructed, showing Sirius his half-rolled spliff. "It should look like a little canoe, but don't make it too thin at the end."

They'd set up shop outside the Galilei Block, tucked in between the exterior wall of Sirius' chemistry lab and an outbuilding that was used for storage and had since moved on from tobacco to hash. Despite Remus' attempts at instruction, Sirius had come away more than once with what looked like pulverized oregano on the tip of his tongue.

"Buggar," Sirius said, spitting. "Can't get the hang of it. Why can't I get the hang of it?"

"Can't be perfect at everything, Black."